• Boomkop3@reddthat.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      40
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      I’ve noticed this behaviour in older people a lot more than with my peers.

      But to be fair, they grew up with parents from a generation where divorce was illegal, rape was excused an disabled people used as guinea pigs. They did not come from a great situation

    • SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      ·
      1 month ago

      Last week I bought my wife flowers, just as a nice thing for when she got off work on a Tuesday. Sat down on the bus and the lady across from me leans over and says: You shouldn’t’ve bothered.
      Three…THREE other ladies nodded and mmhmmm’d.

      It really pissed me off that the assumption was that I’d fucked up and made her mad somehow and was trying to smooth it over with flowers.

    • Ibaudia@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      1 month ago

      My partner definitely does this a lot. We’ll be having a good time and randomly she gets upset, usually because something in her environment reminds her of something she is/was unhappy about. Then starts bringing up unrelated things from the distant past that also make her upset, seemingly just to continue the cycle. This often just gets projected onto me and she gets extremely impatient with me or raises her voice, even if what she’s mad about has nothing to do with me.

      I thought this had more to do with her mental illnesses than anything. The fact that this is such a stereotype, though, makes me think we’re failing our young girls by socializing them to be psychic vampires, similar to how we socialize young men to be aggressive.

  • datelmd5sum@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    1 month ago

    I had to listen my friend and his gf argue and noticed that my ex isn’t the only one who likes to load up a random unrelated previous argument in the middle of a current argument.

  • Copythis@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    1 month ago

    My wife was like this all the time. It was so exhausting and I couldn’t keep track of what she was mad about anymore. Then she started accusing me of cheating on a regular basis.

    Then I found the texts in her phone to multiple other guys. Pictures and everything. I bent over so far backwards for her to keep her happy and that’s what happened.

    Dumped her ass, got a new girlfriend that is radically different (she communicates) and I’m getting my life back on track. Restraining order in place. The future will be good.

    • Catpurrple@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      1 month ago

      When someone starts accusing their partner of cheating out of the blue, it can rather often mean they themselves have been cheating and are projecting their insecurity about it onto their non-cheating partner. I’m sorry you went through that, but it’s great to hear you’re in a better situation now.