• pyre@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      even if you can’t you can say it, like:

      • I don’t know
      • don’t worry about it
      • I’ll explain when you’re a little older

      but in reality “how will i explain to my kids” has never been a genuine question. you can say “some people do that” and that is all the explanation needed. no, this is just code for “i don’t want to see this myself, and I’m using my children as an excuse”.

      • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        It’s also code for “I really hate myself for who I am on the inside, and seeing other people be their authentic selves makes me sad, angry, and confused. If my kids learned that it was OK to be themselves, I would lose my shit. They must suffer as I have suffered.”

  • hperrin@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I have to wonder about the people who are fully 100% convinced that it’s just knowing about gay/trans/queer people that “turns” their children LGBTQ.

    It’s like when I asked my youth leader in Bible study when he chose to be straight and he looked me dead in the eyes and answered, “when I was 12”. I wonder if he ever figured it out.

      • Omniraptor@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        might be biased due to being bi myself but imo the simpler/more likely explanation is that the “homosexuality is a choice, reject it” homophobes are mostly bi people who’ve been conditioned by their environment from an early age to reject the same sex attraction, so it literally is true for them. In private they might also prefer gay porn because they find the taboo aspect arousing (a common pattern that extends to fetishes).

        On demographic surveys bi people are much more common than gay people as well, but bi erasure is a thing in both the straight and LGBT community

        • Grail@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Oh yeah you might be right about most of the “homosexuality is a choice” guys. I wrote that article right after Nick Fuentes got caught looking at gay porn, so I was thinking about that cliche.

      • hperrin@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I think some of that is right, and maybe all of it for a portion of people, but I also believe there are gay or bi people who hate that about themselves and that causes them to be homophobic. I don’t think that’s a large percentage of homophobic people, but I do think it’s not zero.

        I don’t blame the gay community or gay people for their own oppression. I blame these bigots, as well as all of the other bigots they join. It doesn’t matter to me what you truly believe underneath or whether your actions are motivated by self hatred.

        • Grail@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Oh yeah statistically it’s gotta be that some homophobes are queer. Queer people are 10% of the population, and homophobes are even higher. Two groups that large, there’s got to be crossover. Historically, it would have been even moreso the case.

          I’m just unconvinced that queer people are the majority of homophobes because that makes no sense, and I’m unconvinced that the study randomly found mostly bi homophobes. The sheer prevalence of the gay homophobe trope is out of proportion with the conditions that would have been capable of creating homophobia in society in the first place and sustaining it.

          For one thing, the study asked the men to rate themselves on the Kinsey scale. Those men fully believed they had never felt attraction to another man. And only 20% of the homophobes showed no penile reaction. Meanwhile, 66% of the gay-accepting men had no reaction.