And yet, many wouldnāt say that a man liking a woman with a penis is 100% straight. Same goes the other way, a cis girl liking a man with a vagina might not be considered 100% straight in a lot of places.
I consider everyone on different places of the bi spectrum and people that donāt mind same gender genitalia would fall a bit more to the center of that spectrum that people that donāt in my eyes.
Iām not confronting your comment about gender identity, I 100% agree, I just want to separate gender identity with sexuality since gender identity is mostly an inwarda thing (how you feel) while sexuality is mostly an outwards thing (what physicalities you feel attracted to).
there are many who consider themselves completely (straight / gay) and donāt mind their partnerās natal genetalia, too, and i think itās transphobic to consider them āmore bisexualā and invalidate their identity
since bisexual is a valid identity, letās not push it on people who havenāt opted into it
otherwise, those people are welcome to think what they may. just like i think that people who view it that way need to unpack their internalized transphobia, but thatās ājust my opinionā, just like you posted yours
I specifically didnāt mention trans women, just women with male genitalia just because of that. There are cis women that also operate their genitalia, dunno. The only difference would be the child bearing thing AFAIK and thatās not really something related to attraction in my eyes.
I donāt understand why you call saying that sexuality is a spectrum and is separate from gender identity, box labelling project. I used different words but in the end itās the same point.
reminder that trans women are women and attraction to them (if youāre a man) is straight
And yet, many wouldnāt say that a man liking a woman with a penis is 100% straight.
It sounded to me like you were equating trans women with women with a penis, but apparently I misunderstood your meaning, so hey.
I donāt understand why you call saying that sexuality is a spectrum and is separate from gender identity, box labelling project.
Thatās absolutely not the bit I was criticising.
To me it sounded like you were both invalidating the femininity of trans women and the sexual identity of men who like them. But maybe I misunderstood your meaning again.
Iām just not sure itās any better telling people what their sexuality is any more than it is telling people what their gender is.
Iām also not keen on phrases like ālots people would sayā. It sits in the box of phrases that people use when they know what theyāre about to say something that can be offensive. Have an opinion, by all means, but own up to it, and be prepared to take the flak for it rather than depend on your unseen army of people who agree with you for cover. Itās not in the least bit less offensive when you put it in the mouths of others.
I think we can agree that sexuality and gender are multi faceted, complex and donāt divide into a neat categories as some folks make out, and I apologise for not being as civil with you as I should be.
Yeah sorry if it came that way, not my intention. When referring to ālots of peopleā I quite literally meant that I know a gay guy that wouldnāt touch a vagina even if he was paid, so saying that if a dude liked a pre op transman is 100% gay doesnāt feel right with me. But not because they are not men, but because as you said sexuality is a complex thing and itās more about physicalities than gender.
Thanks for the addendum and sorry again for making it look like I was invalidating trans women, not my intention at all.
reminder that trans women are women and attraction to them (if youāre a man) is straight
(iām aware of the rest of your post but felt like this was a good thing to bring up)
And yet, many wouldnāt say that a man liking a woman with a penis is 100% straight. Same goes the other way, a cis girl liking a man with a vagina might not be considered 100% straight in a lot of places.
I consider everyone on different places of the bi spectrum and people that donāt mind same gender genitalia would fall a bit more to the center of that spectrum that people that donāt in my eyes.
Iām not confronting your comment about gender identity, I 100% agree, I just want to separate gender identity with sexuality since gender identity is mostly an inwarda thing (how you feel) while sexuality is mostly an outwards thing (what physicalities you feel attracted to).
there are many who consider themselves completely (straight / gay) and donāt mind their partnerās natal genetalia, too, and i think itās transphobic to consider them āmore bisexualā and invalidate their identity
since bisexual is a valid identity, letās not push it on people who havenāt opted into it
otherwise, those people are welcome to think what they may. just like i think that people who view it that way need to unpack their internalized transphobia, but thatās ājust my opinionā, just like you posted yours
Uh, also some trans women are post op and now have a vagina instead of a penis, they just donāt have a womb or ovaries, thatās all.
I donāt know how that affects your box labelling project.
I specifically didnāt mention trans women, just women with male genitalia just because of that. There are cis women that also operate their genitalia, dunno. The only difference would be the child bearing thing AFAIK and thatās not really something related to attraction in my eyes.
I donāt understand why you call saying that sexuality is a spectrum and is separate from gender identity, box labelling project. I used different words but in the end itās the same point.
It sounded to me like you were equating trans women with women with a penis, but apparently I misunderstood your meaning, so hey.
Thatās absolutely not the bit I was criticising.
To me it sounded like you were both invalidating the femininity of trans women and the sexual identity of men who like them. But maybe I misunderstood your meaning again.
Iām just not sure itās any better telling people what their sexuality is any more than it is telling people what their gender is.
Iām also not keen on phrases like ālots people would sayā. It sits in the box of phrases that people use when they know what theyāre about to say something that can be offensive. Have an opinion, by all means, but own up to it, and be prepared to take the flak for it rather than depend on your unseen army of people who agree with you for cover. Itās not in the least bit less offensive when you put it in the mouths of others.
I think we can agree that sexuality and gender are multi faceted, complex and donāt divide into a neat categories as some folks make out, and I apologise for not being as civil with you as I should be.
Yeah sorry if it came that way, not my intention. When referring to ālots of peopleā I quite literally meant that I know a gay guy that wouldnāt touch a vagina even if he was paid, so saying that if a dude liked a pre op transman is 100% gay doesnāt feel right with me. But not because they are not men, but because as you said sexuality is a complex thing and itās more about physicalities than gender.
Thanks for the addendum and sorry again for making it look like I was invalidating trans women, not my intention at all.
Yup. Have a good weekend.