Well, I’m lucky enough to be married and not have to deal with new partners any more.

That being said, my biggest gripe was how often folks would just assume that because I’m big, that I’m automatically going to prefer pounding partners into the bed until they can’t move.

Like, yeah, I look like some kind of overbuilt savage sasquatch, but damn. There were many people I turned down because they didn’t get that my default isn’t trying to shove my penis through their cervix as hard and fast as possible. And that’s both the ones that were scared of it, and the ones that wanted that.

After a while, I got tired of it being assumed that I was inherently brutal just because of my looks. The ones that wanted that didn’t bug me as much because at least that’s a normal part of negotiations. But there is nothing that’s more of a turn off than fear. I get it, I do. Women have a long history of being treated like an object for use. And I am big. Even after I quit lifting for mass, and lost some bulk, and over a decade disabled, I’m still big.

But give a dude a chance to be gentle ffs. We’ve cuddled and I’m very careful when using my size with others, so it’s equally as likely that’s how I’ll be in bed, since that’s at least based on things I’ve done.

But it’s whatever now :)

My wife, before she was my wife, traveled hundreds of miles just to meet me based on our interactions online. And yeah, she was nervous, but she never once made it about me being sasquatch looking. She just trusted that I would be the same person she had known for a couple years.

As weird as it may seem, most of my partners over the years were people I had known for months or years. So it isn’t like I was getting the fear from hookups only.