Knowing stuff can be a curse, especially when you’re 10 steps ahead of everyone else in the room and you know they’re just going to need the time to figure it out on their own.
But being smart means you know how and when to apply your knowledge. So you can provide the information when it’s actually useful and not when it just gets blank stares.
And knowing stuff but NOT talking about it all the time, and not using “told you so” means that when you DO speak, anyone who matters will listen and take you seriously.
I find that slipping useful knowledge into self-deprecating jokes is a useful way to get people to listen to it.
I like knowing stuff because I have social anxiety and being able to engage in small talk with people about a wide range of topics is extremely helpful for me.
Try to keep expectations low and you’ll live longer.
No…?
I mean I’m not a genius or anything but I know some things about some things. When I can help someone with those things or just shoot the shit about cool things I know, it makes me feel good.
Nope.
For context, I’m in my late 50s and always want to know the right answer, and share it with everyone.
Buy sometimes, you need to let it go. You might be in a situation where someone is confidently stating something you know to be wrong. Correcting them can - depending on context - come across as insulting and know-it-all; and if it’s not important, maybe stay silent this time.
Now if you’re in a situation where the truth IS important, or where everyone is more interested in the truth (or even debate) than something cool but false, your knowledge will be appreciated.
You don’t have to always have the last word, even if it’s right.
There’s nothing wrong with knowing about things. If I’m deciphering your question correctly, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut. People won’t pester you then.
Even if I don’t say anything, I still feel bad for knowing, and extra bad for not helping the person out, but I’d feel worse if I did.
Then you should talk to a professional until you feel differently. This is not normal. Being smart is good. Being curious is good. Being a lifelong learner is ideal. Whoever or whatever taught or showed you otherwise is wrong.
There are a couple abilities involved:
- knowing something
- modeling a learner: understanding someone else’s current level of knowledge and the nature of their lack of knowledge such as misconceptions.
- instruction skill: having the ability to remedy the learner’s misconceptions and build upon their existing knowledge to transmit the knowledge/skill
The last two are nontrivial. You ever told someone the answer to something and they just didn’t get it? Even though it was stunningly obvious to you? The last two are why.
Anyway, to your point: a lot of times the best action is just to point someone in the right direction.
Try to come across friendly without sounding condescending.
First, empathize (I know those things can be tricky, it took me a minute the first time), then offer to help without judgement (I have some experience with these, would you like me to try?), then back off if they say no.
If they refuse help, you’ve done what you can, end of story. Don’t be pushy.
Key point here is to be nice about it. Don’t call them out or make them feel dumb. Don’t judge. You don’t know why they’re not getting it, and next time maybe it is you who is “dumb”.
Also, don’t expect everyone to share your intellect (it’s obvious to you) or curiosity (you want to know how it works). Most people just want their problem fixed and move on.
I’m guessing you’re young? Just wait, it gets easier with time.
Just assume you’re not smart.
There are always more things that you don’t know than there are things that you do know.
ikr sounds like that thing where Socrates’ wisdom was realizing that he was not wise.
Socrates then sought to solve the divine paradox—how an ignorant man also could be the wisest of all men—in effort to illuminate the meaning of the Oracles’ categorical statement that he is the wisest man in the land. After systematically interrogating the politicians, the poets, and the craftsmen, Socrates determined that the politicians were not wise like he was. He says of himself, in reference to a politician: “I am wiser than this man; it is likely that neither of us knows anything worthwhile, but he thinks he knows something when he does not.”(21d).[15] Socrates says that the poets did not understand their poetry; that the prophets and seers did not understand what they said; and that the craftsmen while knowing many things, thought they also had much knowledge on things of which they had none.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apology_(Plato)#Part_one:_The_defence_of_Socrates
The curse of competence.
Being smart means I keep getting handed more work.
People do not want to know what is right. They want to think they are right. Those two things are hardly ever the same thing.
I am a networking specialist on a team of sysadmins at an MSP. I don’t like being the “smart” one when it comes to networking because it means I have no one I can bounce ideas off.
What? No. No, dawg, no. Ignorance isn’t a virtue. Knowledge and expertise are something to be proud of.
No I get off on making people feel dumb
I don’t find it annoying and I certainly don’t know a lot.
I know a lot about my narrow field of expertise and hobbies. I’m ignorant about so much useful knowledge and skills.
I hate that I happen to have the reputation of a tech nerd, only to get basically 2 different sorts of requests, both of which I rightfully refuse to touch…
- Can you unlock this
stolenphone? - Can you fix my 72 inch TV? The kids broke the screen.
You missed “make my computer work” and “get me movies for free”.
For ‘get me movies for free’, I point them to https://fmhy.net/
Also don’t forget…
-
Can you fix my phone screen?
-
Sure, a new screen will cost $X, plus my labor cost $Y.
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Wait, it costs money? Well nevermind, I’ll just get a new one.
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- Can you unlock this
I don’t hate it but it does occasionally feel like a burden. As in knowing that I could solve a problem that people are struggling with and whether it’s ethical to not help because I don’t feel like it.
Hating “knowing stuff” seems bizarre to me though. There’s so many interesting things in our world - wanting to know less sounds awful. Like opting into a lobotomy.
