• darkcalling@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago
    1. We saw the shape of a bear in our oatmeal, this is clearly a sign that Russia is coming to attack.
    2. Our astrologer friend says something about ursa major rising which is clearly code for a Russian attack.
    3. Our tarot card reader says war with the northern power, clearly a sign.
    4. A psychic we hired out of a strip mall says Russia is going to attack, it took her a few attempts, she kept insisting it was space invaders but we pushed back and she got there.
    5. We instacart ordered some groceries. They substituted mac and cheese made with bear shapes for our Kraft classic, clearly a sign. Also it cost 3 times as much.
    6. We had the TV on in the background and weren’t paying attention, we happened to glance back and there was a shot of a California flag in view for a split second. What does that flag have on it? A bear, that’s right, a bear. Another sign.
    7. We asked ouji and it said Russia totally was gonna attack.
    8. We asked a magic eight ball if Russia was going to attack “signs point to yes” was the reply.
    9. We stubbed our toe on some furniture, it had a Russian nesting doll on it one of our grandparents gave us decades ago, clearly a sign of Russian aggression.
    10. We were moving around our alphabet soup with our spoon and after some work trying to get it to spell something out it spelt out “Ruszia war onat” which clearly means Russian war with NATO.