i would try to design a series of trials to determine which of you were hotter starting with the obvious feats of strength and riddles and what have you but i would be forced to consult the nation’s three wisest sages after you tied in every event and the first one would say that since you existed in different locations one of you must have walked an extra two steps and must therefore be more fit but the wisest sage would point out that that you might have been somehow clonebirthed at an offset position so i would behead the first sage and then the second sage would suggest that if you were truly indistinguishable both options would result in the same outcome but the wisest sage would point out that should a method of distinguishing between the two be developed later i might run the risk of being exposed as having chosen the lesser twin and the second sage would say but there is no such method my lord and the wisest sage would say ah my lord but i have invented one and so i would obviously behead the second sage and then i would ask the wisest sage how i could choose between the two of you when by all measures you were identical and the wisest sage would say ah my lord but one of them is more lucky and he would flip a coin to assign a winner and when the coin had landed and i had found the luckier twin i would reward the wisest sage with 1000 gold pieces and then i would fuck the unlucky one because she would have lower self esteem

Disappoint both of you