Can’t shake the pervasive feeling that every person I pass is a threat to my wife, that we might get attacked for being trans. Being around people was never easy even when I wasn’t visibly queer and trans. People are exhausting and I don’t trust their stated motivations. I don’t like the way we’re looked at, when I do make eye contact with someone I regularly see extremely negative emotions written on their face. Feel unsafe and incompetent and anger starts to build up.
I’m four months on T this month and the decision to start was pretty significantly influenced by these feelings and the fear it would only continue to get worse. It feels impossible to begin to start interacting with people again, logically I know it’s the next necessary step but anxiety, trauma make it super easy to avoid indefinitely. Does anyone relate or have advice?
You must log in or register to comment.
It’s hard. Can’t say I have the same experience but where I live influences my experience a lot I think. I cut off a bunch of family because they weren’t willing to accept who I am. Finding connection with other queer folk helps me. If you have the chance, it might help you too.
Please seek counseling.
And I know you don’t know me, but if you were to walk past me or my family, you’ll receive no judgment from us. We love you all the same. But please do seek counseling. There are many of us out there who love you.
Your fears are, unfortunately, completely rational given the world we live in. You are not crazy. Still, it can be difficult to navigate life with feelings like that constantly affecting your life, peace, and happiness. I strongly, recommend seeking out regular therapy. A good therapist can help give you the tools you need to live your best life when you are feeling lost and overwhelmed. Also keep in mind that therapists aren’t all the same, you need to find the right one for you. Sometimes you need to go through a few. I hope you find the happiness and peace you deserve. This internet stranger is rooting for you and sending all their love and support. ❤️
This sounds like my brother’s paranoia, have you reported this to your doctor?
