• Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.eeEnglish
    5·
    1 month ago

    Oh, so thats why jars out of nowhere keep hitting me in the face. I’m smart enough to know not to open them, but they are pulling up. Is there recycling available?

    • Windows_Error_Noises@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      1 month ago

      I suggest burying them in the ground! That’s what we did with all the jars that kept hitting me, when we ran out of room in the house - it didn’t help me being hit in the face with newly appearing jars, but we haven’t had to do any lawn care in ages, on account of the backyard collapsing into an ominously humming black abyss. Plus, now we have somewhere to cleanly toss them, rather than precarious stacks to the guest room ceiling!

      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.eeEnglish
        2·
        1 month ago

        Oh, a bad feelings singularity!
        Those are cute - did you know they stare back at you if you look at them long enough?

        It must be fun how some privileged people keep getting free lemons and they just keep feeling jars with lemonade.

        But no lemonade jar ever hit me. Nor did a piss jar so thats probably nice.

        • Windows_Error_Noises@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          1 month ago

          I’ve also yet to be hit with a piss jar! Hooray! Some interesting jars, from the years when I was still tempted to open them, was a shreik that shattered just about everything fragile in a 50 foot radius, including my ear drums (still dealing with that tinnitus), and another jar spilled out some sort of abomination spider-crabs, which ate all our food and vomited it right back up quicker than our reaction time, whilst chanting something about hating their mother. I’d kill for some lemons, though, the stores have been out of stock of decent citrus.

          I’ve really enjoyed having our bad feelings singularity. I’ve been mercilessly unhappy for so long, it fits right in with our style, and having it stare back makes me feel less alone, without the intrusion of another person. It’s ominous hum is great for sleeping, too, automatic blackhole noise machine!

          • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.eeEnglish
            2·
            1 month ago

            Wait, you gave me tinnitus all those years ago?
            I remember a weird shockwave, it wasn’t that bad, but I can still kinda hear it.

            But I get it, curiosity isn’t actually a bad thing even when there is a price to pay.

            Spider crabs! Spider crabs!! Do whatever spider crabs do!
            Watch out for their eldritch aura, when they stay in one place for too long this tends to corrode all the stuff in immediate vicinity. Its super annoying, like when one of them little shits hides in your wardrobe - have fun wearing half-disintegrated & tattered clothes.

            Im really jelly about having a bad feelings singularity within your household.
            Does it generate some sort of v aurora or a jet steam when like neighbours are having a party & random feeling wander in its vicinity?
            Must be petty.