• DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    Just had my first party meeting in like three months. The party was working on processing the election results and I was busy with being sick for a month and my holiday basically, so not much happened.

    It was good to see my comrades again and we made some interesting plans for the coming months leading up to the local municipal elections. We also had some interesting talks about what would happen if we were able to get into a position of actual power.

    Personally I am a bit scared of when that will happen as in our current system it would mean governing with socdems, greens and possibly Christian Democrats and I wonder how you can do that while also growing an actual marxist movement. But at the same time you can’t disappoint your voters by not taking any responsibility.

    But time will tell and we shall see what our options are in about two months. First we have our annual festival in a month which should be a nice break. I’m looking forward to spending time with comrades from all over the world.

  • KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    China really needs to invest more in athletics if they want to beat the US in the Olympic medal tally. (Or maybe they do but it needs time to pay off)

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    Seeing a lot of positive things about Chinese athletes this Olympics which makes me happy to see. Sad I’m surprised by the lack of racism but a nice change for sure.

    • Munrock ☭@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 month ago

      That’s interesting as I’m getting the complete opposite. I’m not following the Olympics directly because fuck the IOC, but any time the Olympics snakes its way into my news feed, it’s articles about Australian swim coaches saying there’s no way the Chinese won without doping vs rebuttals about how the Chinese team are tested 8 times more than Western teams, and quotes from Western athletes being butthurt about losing. The only Olympics news for me that hasn’t been about Sinophobia was a couple of articles about swimming athletes getting hospitalized after drinking some Seine, and the IOC appropriating revolutionary aesthetics in their opening ceremony.

    • KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 month ago

      True, but there’s also a lot of racism. An Italian fencer said he list the gold medal match against a Hong Konger because the judges were favouring the Hong Konger because they were Asian.

      And two Tennis players threw a hissy fit over losing against a Chinese player, Zheng Qinwen, who later won gold

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    Participating in the Pride Parade today. Vibes are great. Currently standing next to a group of trans activists plastered with NO PRIDE IN GENOCIDE flags. Respect ✊🏼

    • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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      1 month ago

      So Pride was great. There are a lot of political messages in this specific Pride which is good I think. There is still work to be done and we need to keep sending said messages.

      I walked along with my job and through some fuck up in the schedule my party was behind me in the parade so I got to enjoy their energy as well. They had so many flags and were constantly chanting, singing leftist songs and playing party music. They really got the attention and managed to have the people on the sidelines sing stuff like Bella Ciao etc.

      All in all great event. It got a record attendance this year as well.

  • cayde6ml@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    Probably shouting into the void/choir here, but I’ve been feeling pretty suicidal the past few days.

    I’m not going to hurt or off myself whatsoever, and I’ll eventually “get over it”, but it still sucks to feel this way.

    I truly feel like I don’t belong anywhere, and that I’m simultaneously a toxic POS and the smartest and greatest person on Earth.

    Being on the autistic spectrum and also suffering from OCD, borderline personality disorder, impulse control disorder, and an extremely high sexual drive with a lot of guilt for having some traits of narcissistic personality disorder, is living Hell, and every single day is a goddamn marathon. I’ve had a former therapist tell me that I have more goddamn trauma than even fucking SOLDIERS. Me just being alive is something more difficult than anything 99 percent of the global population will ever experience.

    I take it as a blessing and a curse.

    Sometimes I can’t wait until humanity achieves the end of aging and death itself, and extends human lifespan to practically indefinitely, where one day I can explore space and view black holes and nebulas with my own eyes in a glorious socialist future.

    And other times, I wish I was dead by now, because I’m scum and don’t deserve anything.

    I classify myself as a heroic narcissist with a heart of silver, or something along those lines.

    • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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      1 month ago

      If I may share a personal, weird story: I used to be suicidal for years until I somehow managed to flip that mentality around. Now I see death as somewhat of a cheat. Like, I can always die. Why not hang on and see what will happen in the future? Maybe it gets better, maybe not and maybe it will get worse.

      I also studied psychology so I know that the above is not the best advice I can give, but that perspective change was somewhat useful for understanding my own struggle.

      • cayde6ml@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 month ago

        I think that way sometimes, but to me it seems more of a rationalization than something that I inherently view, if that makes sense

    • multitotal@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 month ago

      Me just being alive is something more difficult than anything 99 percent of the global population will ever experience.

      Everyone feels like their burden is the heaviest. You have to realise that everyone is suffering and use your own pain to understand the pain of others.

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    Holiday is over, back to work. I have a job in which I face a lot of people face to face. Day 1 and already had to deal with aggression again. Sadly I get used to it but I do sometimes wonder why I keep doing this job.

    Anyway, I will participate in my city’s Pride Parade this weekend and I’m looking forward to it. Last year I had a great time and this year will be no different for sure.

  • meowMix2525@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    I’m generally more of a lurker around these parts. I tried to join the matrix space as I’m interested in the things I read here and in deprogramming the propaganda I’ve been inundated with but I don’t really know how to interact with this stuff. I guess I failed the purity test. I’m honestly really disappointed in my whole experience over there and now seriously questioning interacting with this group any further as I no longer feel included or welcome. Sorry for the negativity, didn’t know where else to vent my frustrations.

    • You stated in your vetting answers that you were not a Marxist, and the community is explicitly for Marxists-Leninists, although we do usually accept those new to Marxist theory. This is not a “purity test” and there was no hostility whatsoever in our moderator’s conduct. You were invited to our introductory room to learn about Marxism but declined; if you want to learn more about communism, you are free to join it and we’d be happy to help, but the space as a whole is intended for communists.

      • meowMix2525@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        we do usually accept those new to Marxist theory.

        Well, that’s what I am… I didn’t say I wasn’t a marxist, I just didn’t say I was a marxist. I didn’t know that was a requirement. I don’t know what I am yet.

        I failed your test presumably because I thought of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine as an imperialist act and after that, I couldn’t name a fifth imperialist country in the modern era. The five I gave you in the first place was difficult for me, not to mention the anti-imperialist countries.

        Communism 101 is not what I was looking for by joining this community. I don’t want to retake your test. I didn’t say there was hostility, I just said I did not feel welcome as a newcomer.

        I don’t know what to call that many genuinely difficult questions with that degree of specificity, if not a purity test. If my answers weren’t good enough then I really don’t want to be good enough for you.

        • I didn’t say I wasn’t a marxist, I just didn’t say I was a marxist. I didn’t know that was a requirement.

          That’s what the “left tendency” question is about. Our post about the Matrix space states that it’s “intended for Marxists-Leninists, although baby leftists may also be accepted depending on their vetting answers”.

          I failed your test presumably because I thought of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine as an imperialist act and after that, I couldn’t name a fifth imperialist country in the modern era. The five I gave you in the first place was difficult for me, not to mention the anti-imperialist countries.

          That would not be alone in and of itself, but your other answers were enough to convince the mod with whom you spoke to recommend our “Communism 101” room instead, to learn more before we could let you in. That room consists almost entirely of members of our space who are willing to help educate newcomers, to keep the space proper limited to those with at least a basic understanding of Marxism-Leninism.

          Communism 101 is not what I was looking for by joining this community.

          If you’re not a communist and you didn’t want to learn more about communism, what were you looking for in trying to join a communist Matrix space?

          I don’t know what to call that many genuinely difficult questions with that degree of specificity, if not a purity test. If my answers weren’t good enough then I really don’t want to be good enough for you.

          It’s fairly basic vetting, slightly more rigorous than for joining Lemmygrad. We have close to 200 members and we rarely reject applications.

          • meowMix2525@lemm.ee
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            1 month ago

            If you’re not a communist and you didn’t want to learn more about communism

            I didn’t say any of that. Please stop putting words in my mouth.

            I still don’t know what I am, but thanks for letting me know that it’s not communist.

            keep the space proper limited to those with at least a basic understanding of Marxism-Leninism. baby leftists may also be accepted depending on their vetting answers we rarely reject applications.

            This is the part I don’t get. If there was a problem with my answers it would be nice to know what that is. Otherwise all of this information just makes it feel personal and even more frustrating. I have a basic understanding of communism, I’ve read works by marx and engels, I just don’t know how it applies to imperialism and indigenous folks and I didn’t know I needed to know that to have the privilege of spectating theory discussions.

            Anyways, I’m not interested in studying for and taking your test again. I have many other things I’d rather be doing with my time than trying to prove myself to people that don’t want me. I’ve never been very good at answering prompts anyways.

  • Spahija@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    My e-visa to visit Russia later this month got approved! I’m so excited!! (as of yet, I have never left Europe in my life, and the easternmost place I’ve ever been to is Albania hoxha-turt )