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is it insulting, depends on the person. if the person is known to be all about flexibility, then its not really a problem. to some it may be a problem because it shows to them that you didnt think very hard for a gift. E.G if your longterm SO who isnt married with you gave you money as a gift (over getting something youd probably eant/like given they should know you), may rub off in the wrong way.
I think it’s not humiliating, but if you know someone, you should have some idea what they like/their interests are. Getting a small gift that fits them shows that you spent at least a small amount of time and thoughtfulness picking out or making the gift. If you don’t know the person, sure, cash/gift card.
Although I think it’s becoming less common to have the space or ‘the time’ (but we could prob all spend 30 mins less each day doing nothing on our phones) so giving physical actual gifts are becoming less common, and also due to the economy the idea of ‘mandatory days of gift giving’ is a bit off-putting. People love getting personalized gifts from people who create things, but far less people today ‘have time’ to learn a hobby where they create things in physical space.
Less “Fuck you here is $10” and more “Here is $10 as agreed upon by the social contract unwritten by the masses who came before us, I didn’t have any clue what you might like or want and didn’t think to ask.”
Some people gladly prefer cash/card. I am one of those people. We will make that known well ahead of time.
Seriously though, it’s pretty much the best gift you can give if you simply don’t want to pick the wrong thing. Which is much, much more likely to do if the recipient doesn’t outright tell you exactly what they want.
If someone wants to buy me a physical gift, I always give them exact suggestions: buy x, version Y. Shop at this store, pay no more than Z for it. That way it’s pretty much impossible for them to fuck it up. Can’t get it done? Give me cash instead.
If it’s acceptable to give a gift card, it’s acceptable to give money as far as I’m concerned. It’s the universal gift card without the restrictions.
It’s the best thing period, there’s no fuckups on the item then. It took my family fucking years to comprehend that holy fuck I’m an adult who can buy their own shit whenever I want. Trying to guess what I might need or want when I buy things when I need or want them, AND telling them “just cash, thanks” and NOT GETTING CASH but stuff I had to return, is fucking awful. It tells the person that you don’t listen, that you think you know better than them, and that you are confident that you think you’re so correct in your gift choice that the first two can be ignored.
A few years ago, I needed a replacement office/gaming chair. I selected the chair, sent the person the link to Amazon, told them to click the coupon so they’d save, that I researched this chair and it’s the best under $200. Xmas rolls by, there’s an obvious chair wrapped in the room. Except it wasn’t the chair I specified - it was somehow both a more expensive and shittier chair, that was “on sale” and they believe ‘more money’ means ‘more better’. $500+ and the pos barely lasted through the ONE YEAR warranty. I had to buy my own replacement, and the original chair was still serviceable but I didn’t have it now so fuck me, now I’m spending my money because you don’t listen to me. I almost declined the chair in front of everyone and their gifts, but they threw away the fucking box, like fucks sake how dense can you be.
I ended up buying a fancy, expensive as fuck chair, with a 12y warranty that is supposed to be good for my back. 3x cost but 12x warranty. They have given up and just give me what I ask for now, like fucking finally. That only took ~25 years.
Plus it’s kinda awkward for some things. “Hey mom, yeah so I’ve been looking at some dildos from bad dragon, think you could be a pal and slide an XL David in natural colors with a blended soft/medium firmness under the tree for me? Trying to stretch my ass for my Master. Thanks.”
And no, gift cards aren’t cash. Gift cards fucking suck unwashed hairy donkey balls. Now I have to use PayPal from my account, add the card, send you the money minus 3% fee on top of any fees you paid to convert cash to an annoying piece of plastic, then login to your account, send the money back to me, then deposit it into my bank account. This could have been a $0 fee check that took 30 seconds but nooooooo you had to go to a store and buy a gift card and pay $4.95 so that I lose $7 on the transaction process. Fuck gift cards. I can’t pay my credit card, that I used to buy what I actually want, with fucking gift cards.
Just. Give. Cash.
Yes. Thankfully I have a humiliation kink
