Belgium is working towards new laws regarding sex work, making the workers eligeble for pensions, healthcare plans, contracts and overall more legal status. This was done in corporation with sex workers, orgs surrounding sex work and my place of work, the Union.
Now, I worked with former sex workers and human trafficking victims myself and I am aware of their struggles. I am not going to outright deny their right to fight for improvement.
What bugs me is the normalization of an industry that is heavily, and I mean very heavily, infested with human rights abuses. For every one empowered sexworker there are a thousand human trafficking victims. Giving them a pension is not helping in the slightest.
And then there is the whole thing of tying things like unemployment benefits to you wanting to look for work. Here in Belgium your benefits can be cut as soon as you refuse a job that is offered to you through government instances. What if we further legitimize sex work and you refuse a sex worker position? There have been caes already of the instances offering unemployed actresses porn jobs, so why not offer them sex workers contracts? And why not cut their benefits of they refuse a fitting job? Right?
And everyone is so happy about it. As if the whole industry is one collective of happy people doing a fun job instead of the horror it is.
Sorry for ranting but fuck me what a mess
CW sex work related things, cus you mentioned you might
FWIW I really suggest not doing IRL sex work. Occams razor is they just want sex, but they still lie about STDs constantly (people with undetectable HIV will never admit they have HIV or use a condom), will stiff you, and can be violent at the drop of a hat. From my experience you will get an STD (I got syphilis twice, chlamydia, anal warts, and herpes type 1), they will stiff you, you can’t say NO. I was only raped once (although sex work as a whole constitutes rape, even in the best, safest situation) and drugged once (because the dude didn’t want to party by homself). Only ever beaten by random queerphobes on the street, then again I also never fight back when someone is forcing me
And this was while I escorted people who knew me from porn. Porn btw tests the day of the shoot usually, although HIV has a 2 week to 2 month window. Also think you’ll only do work online? Well eventually someone will make a really really good offer
And eventually you’ll get old and not make the sweet bucks anymore and be saddled with all that royalty free trauma
In hindsight as it got rather long (I ramble)- CW for what I guess is technically suicidality/depression spiel though not active suicidality
Thanks for your message- it’s given me a fair bit to think about. Hearing your experiences was- very different, when I suppose that the one close friend I have who did sex work is a (fit) dude who has since joined the army.
I’ll admit that said, I probably still will end up doing it when I get my shit back together again (losing weight, since a certain mental breakdown quite a while back that’s been an issue and just existing as that in itself is- not something I handle well as someone who has serious complexes over pride/dignity/a very certain idea of appearance).
The honest truth is that (while my circumstances aren’t “everything is on fire” for now) the money could genuinely and immensely improve my life, and that of those I love. And I suppose the honest truth is that I don’t have much self worth if any (whatever I have has always been tied to how much worth- not necessarily measured by capital, but how I measure the worth of continuing to live is I suppose- I’m not suicidal and still aspire for much more/am not done with life, but frankly the greater part of the equation alongside that is that I can’t “afford” to die either- not while I have unfinished business wherein my loved ones and some things I care about have to be taken care of first).
Thanks for sharing your experiences all the same, and- I’ll probably think twice about IRL sex work as such (but the truth is money is money- and probably everyone has a price, for something where it’s just myself on the line I know I certainly do). I’m - I dunno. A shitty person though, someone who’s already enough of a wreck and has always been such, whose whole mentality since I was a kid is that I came from “trash” and have to aspire and work to be more.
Obviously I’m a communist, and have- not just my ideals, but my genuine beliefs and understanding of how things should be, can be, and why they are as they are. But if I were to describe it- well, the main or only reason I’d want to get old as-is would be to not leave my partner. And I’m not someone who I think should exist, nor would want to exist in an ideal world or even just a somewhat better/improved world, in the sense that once I’ve finished my business, at least as I see it now, it’s best on my end to have an expiry date as I already figure that my accumulated experiences, trauma, personality and being are… well honestly pretty miserable and bitter, and not something I want to have to deal with for an overly long time (which I suppose is suicidality of a sort itself).
My circumstances aren’t great, but more than that is also that I simply also am not fine and can’t imagine myself being a level of fine (in truth even if the material conditions improved) to overly care about myself, certainly not more than the people and things I care about or even just my specific sense of pride/dignity/avoiding shame (none of which would be overly affected if at all by sex work as I have no values against it nor care about those values of others in that regard, and all of which admittedly have to do with either material conditions and physical appearance).
If I get old, if I live to get old, it’ll be a burden (on myself, mentally) that I’ll have put up with only for other reasons on the table (things unfinished, also to spend time with my partner or others I care about). Living as is already is a burden in that sense, though I’m not actively suicidal as I have hopes and things I want to do all the same, I have my partner and want to continue living with them, and I have people and things I can’t afford to die on just yet. Past that though- I can’t say living overly long can appeal to me anymore, even in the most ideal of circumstances where all material and physical things were dealt with I’d at least want a mind wipe.