According to a poll conducted by Scientifically Rich, a for-profit research group based in Arizona, America’s most productive earners believe the average American’s finances are better than ever.

“The thing is- you see- the thing- it’s- so these most productive earners they’re- you can really tell they know their stuff!” Josh Grawnish, a researcher from the prestigious for-profit told Hexbear News Network.

“Their views on these issues are going to be more accurate than the average American’s views, because they’re hungrier, thirstier, bigger, wetter, and so on.” His wife explained. “Sorry, Josh gets nervous in front of all these cameras.” she continued.

“The average American believes their financial situation has been degrading in recent years. But thanks to Josh’s new study we can see that isn’t actually true.” Mr. Grawnish’s wife further elaborated.

This is great news for Americans, who are more frequently reporting difficulties purchasing essential items like groceries.