Every single long term relationship I’ve ever been witness to has been defined by either eventual resentment between partners, or a pervasive sense of apathy between them. The people I’ve seen who really “make it last” aren’t affectionate towards one another after being together for decades: they’re codependent. One person supports another person’s narcissism and the other person facilitates their partner’s alcoholism. That sort of thing.
On a more fundamental level, I’m not sure I even believe that the concept of lifelong partners or lifelong marriage is natural for human beings. Being a part of a community, sure, but being emotionally attached to the same person in the same way forever? Not really. I think it’s in our nature to constantly grow, and that typically means growing apart. In fact, that might be a lot healthier for people than the alternative.
We’re planning our 30th anniversary party. We still flirt and are both best friends and lovers and don’t pass each other in a room without a caress or joke. I’m not bragging so much as to say it happens. Sometimes people keep the remnants of their initial crush and combine it with respect and lust for a whole lifetime. The Pheromones are very strong.
Every single long term relationship I’ve ever been witness to has been defined by either eventual resentment between partners, or a pervasive sense of apathy between them. The people I’ve seen who really “make it last” aren’t affectionate towards one another after being together for decades: they’re codependent. One person supports another person’s narcissism and the other person facilitates their partner’s alcoholism. That sort of thing.
On a more fundamental level, I’m not sure I even believe that the concept of lifelong partners or lifelong marriage is natural for human beings. Being a part of a community, sure, but being emotionally attached to the same person in the same way forever? Not really. I think it’s in our nature to constantly grow, and that typically means growing apart. In fact, that might be a lot healthier for people than the alternative.
We’re planning our 30th anniversary party. We still flirt and are both best friends and lovers and don’t pass each other in a room without a caress or joke. I’m not bragging so much as to say it happens. Sometimes people keep the remnants of their initial crush and combine it with respect and lust for a whole lifetime. The Pheromones are very strong.