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Cake day: August 3rd, 2023

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  • One minute you’re there. In your own flock. You talk to the sheep next to you. Her name is Bertha. Bertha isn’t like all the other sheep. She’s got a raspy deep voice like she smoked 32 packs of cigarettes every day. Bertha smiles at you sheepishly and looks at you. For some reason you feel like you’re herded towards Bertha. That night out in the field, you meet Bertha up on the hill while all the other sheep are asleep. Suddenly, Bertha brushes up next to you and gives you a kiss. You feel yourself blush, taken back by Bertha’s forwardness. She says that she has a place for the two of you to go. Bertha opens the gate and leads you out with her. The gate swings shut and you wonder how you managed to follow this sheep that you just met. Bertha leads you to the bar and orders you a drink. Bertha however takes off her disguise. She’s actually a shepherd dog. Even more taken back, Bertha tells you “Confession time, Mona - I’ve led you astray”. The Shepard hangs her head low You see the sadness in her eyes. It’s such a scandalous thing for a Shepard dog to fall in love with a sheep. “I-I don’t know what to say Bertha!” You stammer as Bertha looks into your eyes. You feel your cheeks flush as she gazes at you. The bartender looks up at the two of you and asks if you need anything. “Is it possible that we can stay the night here?” You say. You immediately regret it, but the words already came out of your mouth. The bartender points up the stairs and says in a gruff voice. “Don’t make too much noise” Bertha pays the bartender and you go up to the room as if enchanted by a magic spell