This sounds a lot like Crimson Peak (2015) but the main character isn’t a vampire, so probably not it.

It’s 2024, not 844, English doesn’t use the thorn anymore.

Fuck the gin shop, you should have went in the golden fleece and took pictures of the death masks.

Walk out and back in again.

“Dude, I think the 'nip is kickin in”

Aye still a joke, especially when they’re wanting to charge us more, government should force the bosses to give back their bonuses but that’s never gonna happen.

It says in the article the proposed fine for Thames is 9%, but doesn’t mention Northumbria or Yorkshire.