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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 8th, 2023

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  • That actually literally happened to my mom. Went months with a front door that wouldn’t latch because they refused to repair it after the fact.

    Long story short, building got struck by lightning and one of the units caught fire. Everyone evacuated. Billy Badass firefighter than proceeds to kick down my mom’s door after she’s already evacuated to make sure that the unit was unoccupied and that the fire hadn’t spread. Her unit was on the for end of the building from the lightning strike and fire.

    I know lots of firefighters, and most of them are authoritarian adrenaline junkies.


  • And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas…

    And the Lord spake, saying, '‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.’