Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people learn from the mistakes of others.

Here to share my mistakes and learn from yours. I generally mean to engage with the best intentions, i apologize if i ever feel abrupt.

Never assume malicious what is equally likely ignorance/over exuberance. 💙

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Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: October 4th, 2024

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  • RimWorld and modded Pokemon Scarlett.

    On one hand i am adoring Scarlett more than i expected… On the other, what I enjoy is almost exclusively from the mod, so I don’t know where to even talk about the fun i am having understanding I probably still wouldn’t want to purchase the full game, even with all the fun I am having, because the jank is only tolerable for me on an emulator with mods.

    RimWorld im really into a insectoids 2 mod run. About to try my hand at vanilla expanded genetics with Alpha Animals and Rimbees.

    Im vibrating for stardew valley mobile update. It’s been my favorite way to play and I wanna mod that, too. 😩






  • I didn’t realize there was deep lore in an egg_irl post, i took it as the comic it was.

    Without that background information, (that is not included unless i stalk the OP, which doesn’t feel like it would endear anyone to my participation) it feels close to a comic could reinforce the “you can’t win trying to be supportive to queer people these days” energy since there’s nothing clear about there being a boundary made by the other person in the comic? Maybe there’s something i missed on the lemmy ui, I’m willing to admit!

    As an older queer i am not quite sure when we decided clothing meant anything (again) since growing up it was something we already tried to work on in the queer community, just look into lesbian spaces and their attempts to uncouple femininity from being required to dress up. Have binary identities and enforcing trans people to present a particular way backfired into hyper gendered expressions being required?

    Another question is how can the community help individuals vulnerable to invalidation of parts of their identity? I know everyone needs support as a whole and in general in their lives. The ability to stand strong in yourself in the storm can’t be manufactured without a foundation, and how do we help newbies find that with the atmospheres as tense as they are, even in queer spaces?




  • That giving of yourself and being discerning, you could make sure to find balanced relationships.

    People lie, to you and to themselves. Everyone wants to say they’re going to be their best person when times are tough. Reality can be quite different when the pain kicks in or dynamics change.

    But at this point after countless emergencies while being the one to stand up in the end to carry the sisyphean boulders, the truth is people are going to stand back in a panic when shit hits the fan and I’m going to be the one to figure things out.

    Best compromise I have settled on is surrounding myself with people who will help when I ask. It’s up to me to ask, plan, and keep all our heads above water, which is exausting, but they won’t blow me off.

    It’s the best I have been able to find of the available optional combination of traits in people i find attractive. 🙃




  • Worst thing I didn’t realize from being young is: keeping people around who are going to eventually leave no matter what cuz they didn’t actually respect me isn’t worth it.

    Show them enough respect to get what you need out of them but don’t be friendly with them because they don’t actually care about you and none of it’s real. They’re being social friendly just enough but it’s not real and they don’t really care about you.

    Don’t get emotionally invested and don’t let people close to you who don’t know you and who you know cause you pain, otherwise you’re just causing self harm to not be alone and the scars will ruin close social relationships. Colleagues should ne at arm’s length you, can tell them that they’re being inappropriate, you can just walk away you, can ignore them, be cold to them give them social situations to make them feel uncomfortable like they do you and cut them out.

    I promise you in 2 years agter graduation none of them will probably be around. None of them will probably helped you with a job (networking it almost exclusively better with older people in the industry NOT your own rivals for jobs).

    And you’re going to have spent time juggling relationships that were a waste of your time and that they never cared. Carry around scars for your future partners and friends, ways you wont trust because of a casual acquaintance. It’s as bad as having a cheating partner for causing you to mistrust and feel unsable to force yourself to be friendly with people who don’t care about you.

    None of what they say matters to them or they even process it in social situations. They dont put themselves into your shoes.

    I’m it feels like everything to you and so it feels like it’ll be everything to them, but no they won’t remember you for anythings but a stereotypes they formed in their head 2 months after you haven’t been around. Then a year later they may have the vaguest recollection.

    Only you will remember this in 10 years. Act with respect for yourself, not them and not what you’ve been told they’ll be good for.

    Because you won’t lie at night wishing you had given more of yourselves to others. You wont wish you made yourself more vulnerable, more easy to hurt by letting cold and thoughtless people into a close place where they can hurt you. You’ll wish you had walked away rather than cause wounds you’ll never be able to heal.





  • Lol i cant even with the whole thing.

    However, even with all those factors, no one could possibly have predicted the scale of its failure.

    I didn’t hear about it UNTIL the failure. I think it wasn’t expected to do well, i don’t think it was advertised well, and it was a lazy cash grab in a filled market no one asked for.

    Just because a game gets made doesn’t make it good, wanted, or timed well.

    Stardew Valley came out in 2016, but I didn’t see any traffic for a few years outside people who had been waiting for it. It took off around 2019 according to google trends.

    Most devs wont give the game time to even improve anymore, let alone join friends in a multiplayer game. Concord’s google trends start the day before it released.


  • XaiwahBlue@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoMovies@lemmy.worldThe decline of sex in films
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    29 days ago

    My question would be how much of this is actors no longer being completely subjected to the gross wims of the director. How many scenes had little to do with a story and felt more like the director using the opportunity to make pretty people obey them.

    We have intimacy directors now and what may also be happening is individuals having more say in production and in their bodily autonomy and I don’t see that as an issue particularly.

    Did random sex scenes really hit the level of art for you folks? Is pornography art the same way? 🤔 You know both are made for mass sale and consumption usually, the same way, much more than trying to make content to say anything.

    But um “it so bad we block the titties!” or whatever is popular to say. Even though i personally don’t remember many that added anything story related. Show me them bonding in a real way, sex doesn’t cement anything if you’ve ever had a cheating partner, but a real collection of moments spent together between them that shows understanding and sacrifice for each other can really have an impact.