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Jimmy Swaggart Ministries

The cellular-bananular phone changed my life. I still sing it to this day

Modern astrophysics exists because a house fell on a teenage orphan.

Who as a result got adopted by a prince.

He got access to a royal lab for glassmaking.

Then he tried fixing color aberration in his microscope lenses.

Then he noticed the rainbow had holes in it. Huh.

Then he died. Glassmaking and tuberculosis are fast friends.

Then Bunsen invented his burner, which made spectra that matched the rainbow holes. Huh.

Now we know what stars and planetary atmospheres are made of!

Especially with Project 2025 (day one after the election of the next GOP candidate). The executive branch will no longer be controllable by the other two branches. Also, Schedule F will allow all “policy-related” government workers to be rescheduled as fireable employees, allowing the Prez to install loyalists throughout the entire government. It’s definitely time to freak the fuck out.

And for trying to pull the group along, as futile as it may be.

I respect it. We need more of this.

all of them

Redesign the spine for vertical use. Don’t put the eating and breathing tubes on either side of the same flap.

Honestly, AI trained on successful governance and social satisfaction would be a better president than what we have now. Then again, so would my cat.

humor is subjective

Fucking hilarious

I worked as a pastor and professor for a global, evangelical television ministry/college. They knowingly conceal scholarship on the Bible and punish their pastors for asking any questions that undermine their most closely held traditions (including anti-evolution, mental illness is supernatural, etc.). They tell their US viewers that they can’t call themselves Christians if they don’t vote Republican, while still enjoying tax-exempt status. They use pseudohistorians to inspire Christian Nationalism over their network, and are one of the largest propaganda networks for the Religious Right. A U.S. Capitol police commander told me his men were fighting people who were wearing the network’s brand.