There’s a lot going on with this post, but it almost sounds like you feel your life is in a rut? You have a life that’s stuck going 20 on a 25mph street, it’s just feeling kind of mundane, is that it? I think I deal with a similar thing, though quite a different situation, I think alot of people deal with this. It’s hard to address it for others because we only know what you’ve written, but here’s some random advice I’d give:
- You don’t need the gym to get physically active, just start walking. Don’t try to go all out, just go for small bursts, whatever you have the time for. The important thing is to create a repeatable routine that you can commit to regularly. Once you’ve got the routine established, start building onto it as you get bored with it.
- D&D and other rpgs at least can be played online, you can just play via Roll20 if you find an online group to play with, there’s usually sites or Discord channels that advertise for groups looking for players. Our group switched to online games and we’re playing more now than we ever did pre-pandemic.
- Appreciate the mundane. It sounds dumb, but your life could always be worse. To you it seems boring, but you’re in an enviable position that alot of other people don’t have.
- Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith to get what you want, get out of your comfort zone. Do something impulsively, break the routine, start something new. Start a new hobby, learn some new skill, try something you might fail at, mix the shit up and see what happens. Just stop doing the same things that are making you feel like you’re in a rut.
A lady told me I have nice eyes once. That was 20+ years ago and I’ve never forgotten that shit.