A homeless transsexual escort trying to create meaning in the cosmos.
i stopped reading most docs after like 95 unless they are rfc or reference and i had a memory that was stellar
now, i read all of them over and over and over because i got a tbi from electroshock “therapy” and i am working with shitty autobiographical memories and cant get to the details. so i read, keep reading, and make sure all the mans are at hand along with my references. now i get frustrated and wanna die but i still get it done but im always like yeah uh no
i appreciate your heads-up about matrix but i have no time to do anything tech oriented that isnt strictly required. lemmy is only for my sad “socializing” which is mostly using it as my yelling void.
im overwhelmed with trying to improve my situation. ill avoid matrix until i have enough spacetime to do the work.
i have zero nuts, am white, a transsexual, as bitter as oxy, and I meltdown at will. i wonder what my m&m color would be. probably opalescent or whatever
sorry to surf your history but i wanted to see if you were on the upNup. that said, i respect your opinion even if its wrong. poached, delicious for sure.
but #fried_crew for life
are you fuckin serious??!? like i need more goddam issues in my life. can you link to the relevant CVEs or bugtracker issues? after being responsible for infra security i want to see wtf is going on and tbh i dont want to do the footwork. i got a lot of fucked shit going on. its a fuck shit stack. a fuck shit stack.
wish I could leave but everywhere safer is thousands of dollars away and im homeless fml
my butch great aunt born in the 1910’s hated it and went by her middle name
SO I FUCKIN STOLE IT YOINK
i was okay on bsky for a hot minute until they didnt do a single thing to stop the harassment of trans people and so i bailed. blahaj.zone was the only place that said they were for the trans and so im trying it. i might join the matrix or whatever. at least i can lose my shit here and feel like at least one person is paying attention and will defederate or ban to protect us
dang. poor guy. i cant get a job anywhere in IT and I was a greenfield and brownfield systems architect making a presidential salary. i have worked for a japanese zaibatsu, in education i was responsible for the architecture and implementation of a ~18mm public project, and “in finance” (pls kill me) and startups. i have over 3 decades of experience and ill tell you the struggle is real especially since 47 took office the first time. non-passing transsexuals are chopped off the block every time now. cant even get a job in labor because of my age coupled with the physical disability that made me leave the server rooms behind. now im a destitute homeless sex worker that cant even do that well because of my age and the hostility toward me where i live. strong young white men are now deeply affected and making the papers. vulnerable and marginalized people dont stand a fuckin chance. no one listened to the trans and look at them now.
you sayin you wanna be my normie friend? are you in a “like situation?”
Listen to it and if you can, don’t let it control your behavior. Think. Decide. Act. Bravery is doing something even tho you are scared or anxious. You can do it!
I have come to the conclusion that when folks feel they must walk on eggshells it is their insecurity. I most often encounter this when people will not just be real with me and succumb to blaming me for their own inability to feel comfortable and open. Often this is because they do not want to expose their human nature to “other” or own and grow past their original programming.
Do what you want. Listen first. Make mistakes. Own them and don’t JADE. Evolve.
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im still satisfied with starting at 49 even with all my struggles. i needed to and so i did. i can only advise what i know. transitioning has been worthwhile and im toughening up now that im standing alone. the harder the fight the more im sure i am on my own side now and taking care of me. im a garbage transsexual and on that point i could not be happier all things considered. fanning the flame of my own being has been amazing. accept what feels right in the face of your fear and do that thing. be brave. <3