purplexed

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

“we’re reaching out to you about your cart’s extended warranty…”

“you’ve got reaaall priddyy eyes, miss!”

It’s not unusual

!remindme 1.5 years

At least quadrupled, doubled, quadrupled. And tripled. At least doubled.

And from kids! The circle is complete

You take that back, that lesson was beautiful

Definitely skip the candy dildo thong

Shorts and a t shirt - t shirt has to be long enough to go past my shorts so I don’t get air on my back and crack. I despise pants.

First time was an accident, second one was for fun

It’s not sad or great, it’s ridiculous. There’s never been a third toot.

Hostel

Yeah that happens to me a fair bit.

The other one I found myself in, is that something they say reminds me of A, and I think it would be funny if B, so I jump to conclusion C, and then try to make a joke about D, completely skipping past and not even mentioning everything that transpired in my head that lead to E.