I managed to find both the CD and cassette singles at a local thrift store. They’re on a shelf right next to a sealed Slim Goodbody album, and a 1 of 1 promotional Topo Chico vinyl record that does have grooves, but doesn’t actually contain any recordings.
Obscure and irrelevant media is so fucken funny to me.
Dog that’s literally why they indoctrinate their kids so early. Private religious elementary with a church run youth group after school, “vacation bible school” over summer break, the whole nine yards. A healthy adult is a lot more likely to realize the inherent problems before they dedicate their entire lives to being delusional.