I’m in my late 20s now and I feel so much despair.
I think a huge factor that shaped my world is my breakup almost 3 years ago. I had dated several people, actually more than several, before then.
I feel like people think I am delusional when I say this, but he was genuinely the nicest person I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t understand how it’s possible for someone to have actually cared about me to the extent he did. At times I felt like he actually cared about me more than my own mom did. It wasn’t just that, he was intelligent and hilarious too and we had a lot in common.
Unfortunately I wasn’t good enough for him and he didn’t want to continue the relationship. This basically fundamentally broke me.
I had my share of heartbreaks before, but even when I met him, I was basically at my breaking point with love. I remember telling myself this was my last try (because I was so done). To this day I literally have no idea how I could have so much in common with someone. It’s like we completely agreed on almost every aspect in life. Did he just lie to me or agree with everything I said or something?
Apparently he has also had random acquaintances tell him he’s a breath of fresh air and so nice to be around compared to most people, so it’s not just me.
I really don’t know what to do other than cry about losing him. I’ve tried so hard to find happiness for myself but how could I let something like that go?
My life hasn’t gotten any better since then and I honestly think I am hopeless. Genuinely.
Literally everyone pales in comparison to what I had with him. Even though what I had clearly wasn’t real, because ultimately he clearly didn’t feel the same about me since he chose to leave. It felt real to me, talking to him is the most enjoyable thing I had experienced in my life.
This all sounds extremely sad and pathetic but really what am I supposed to do? I bet most people haven’t even come close to meeting someone like him so they can’t relate to this at all. I am going to sound insane again but I think he is some prodigy or something. Like one of those one in a million once in a lifetime people that most won’t even get the chance to meet.
What do you mean, like I should have more reasons that the ones listed in the comment? I don’t have anything tying me here except my parents being here. I don’t get along with them super well but I still care about them. I lived apart for them for several years before though (in different countries).
That’s the other thing though, I don’t know if I can decide what the best plan is for me for the next few years. I really do feel paralyzed about it. Im afraid to take risks now, it just seems so scary and fatal as I’m getting older. Like if I make the wrong choice I’ve basically ruined my life, because I’m running out of time to make something of myself.
You aren’t running out of time, you aren’t even old. My manager just moved hundreds of miles away to Oklahoma and she’s probably twice your age. If your parents don’t need you there and you want to move, move. By “more reasons” I mean employment opportunities, better social fit for you (like if you are in the countryside but would like to live in a city, or vice versa.) You can’t run away from yourself, obviously, but sometimes it really is the place that is not a good fit.
If you are feeling so anxious, is there any way to get counseling?
I’m sorry to say this, but the only thing that can actually cause you to “not make something of yourself”, is to not do anything. So if you feel paralyzed and don’t take risks, that’s literally the only thing you can do to absolutely make sure you don’t get what you want. If you do literally anything else, at least you have a chance to “make something of yourself”.
What does “make something of yourself” mean for you anyway?