- cross-posted to:
- politics@beehaw.org
- cross-posted to:
- politics@beehaw.org
Before the 1960s, it was really hard to get divorced in America.
Typically, the only way to do it was to convince a judge that your spouse had committed some form of wrongdoing, like adultery, abandonment, or ācrueltyā (that is, abuse). This could be difficult: āEven if you could prove you had been hit, that didnāt necessarily mean it rose to the level of cruelty that justified a divorce,ā saidĀ Marcia Zug, a family law professor at the University of South Carolina.
Then came a revolution: In 1969, then-Gov. Ronald Reagan of California (who was himself divorced) signedĀ the nationās first no-fault divorce law, allowing people to end their marriages without proving theyād been wronged. The move was a recognition that āpeople were going to get out of marriages,ā Zug said, and gave them a way to do that withoutĀ resorting to subterfuge. Similar laws soon swept the country, and rates ofĀ domestic violence and spousal murderĀ began to drop as people ā especially women ā gained more freedom to leave dangerous situations.
Today, however, a counter-revolution is brewing:Ā Conservative commentatorsĀ andĀ lawmakersĀ are calling for an end to no-fault divorce, arguing that it has harmed men and even destroyed the fabric of society. Oklahoma state Sen. Dusty Deevers, for example,Ā introduced a billĀ in January to ban his stateās version of no-fault divorce. The Texas Republican Party added a call to end the practice to itsĀ 2022 platformĀ (the plank is preserved inĀ the 2024 version). Federal lawmakers like Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH) andĀ House Speaker Mike Johnson, as well as former Housing and Urban Development SecretaryĀ Ben Carson, have spoken out in favor of tightening divorce laws.
Iāve been married 14 years, and I have no idea. It makes it REALLY hard to break up. No one can grasp that you changed your last name. At all. Every gov offical just BAFFLED. āāIāve worked in the county clerks office for 30 years and this is the FIRST Iāve heard of people changing their last name for marriageāā. Every. Fucking. Time. If you have kids that arenāt even close to 18, and you break up, You get to be EXACTLY the same as married, but now you donāt have sex or trust eachother. But literally nothing else changes. Also if you get married in your 20s, then by 40 you get to find out in excruciating detail that āinner childā, āmid-life crisisā, and āfamiliarity breeds contemptā, arenāt just dumb things people say, they are also why you dread being around someone you stupidly legally bound yourself too in the custom of a religion nether of you is still childish enough to buy into.
I meanā¦ it was pretty fun when we were having kids, going on trips, casually abusing Rx drugs, and having a sexual awakening after getting to 25 being painfully sexually repressed through religious abuse, but FUCK if Iām not aware of how little rope is left.