Confidence without arrogance. Being able to assert yourself without being a douche or feeling the need “one up” everyone. Fake alpha bullshit is a huge turnoff.

I love people who love things I do as well. A couple examples from recent memory: I love black metal and I was wearing a hoodie from an obscure band and this guy recognized the logo. We had a long talk about music and that was definitely a huge turn on. I also really love when people geek out about stuff, and I met a guy who’s a mechanical engineer and he was happy to talk about his job and all the things that go along with it.

I guess I’m just describing having a personality.

On the subject of contrasts: You show me four women and I’d pick the one who is apparently different, every time. Three blondes and a brunette? Three brunettes and a blonde? Three sundresses and shorts and t-shirt? I’ll pick “the ___ one” every time.

Thunderstorms. I am not aroused by thunderstorms, but they’re great fucking weather. I don’t know if it’s because it’s cooler, if it’s the background noise, the lighting, but my ideal sex scenario has a summer afternoon thunderstorm going on outside.

The boldness to use two commas in the first three words of a sentence.

Mine’s a little weird to explain but if a woman goes off to slip into something more comfortable (like, actual pajamas, not talking about the euphemism for changing into lingerie) I not only get turned on, I’ll get a little obsessed for a while. First time it happened was senior prom, I went with a friend of mine (just as friends) and afterwards a bunch of us ended up at her place playing video games. At one point she was like, “sorry you guys are stuck in your formal wear but I’m getting out of this thing”. She came back in sweatpants and a T-shirt and had ditched her contacts for glasses (I didn’t even know she wore glasses at that point) and for some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about her for like, months. Tried talking her into dating a couple times but no-go. After that, when girls I dated would get into pajamas to chill with me for the evening, I’d always lose interest in chilling and want to take them right to bed. To this day it drives my wife nuts that she’ll buy sexy lingerie and not get more of a reaction than when she just changed into sweats.

I didn’t put the comfy clothes thing together until my wife and I started vacationing with other couples. Every time a woman we were hanging out with left to change into comfy clothes to hang out for the rest of the night, I’d be like, “Why the hell am I so attracted to Bob’s wife all of the sudden”. Eventually It clicked that I apparently have a thing for pajamas which was a huge relief because I was a little worried that I was falling in love with a couple female friends there for a minute. Turns out it’s a lot easier to turn off when you know what’s going on.