In an unprecedented move, 13-year-old Brandon “Tired Bones” Hayden announced yesterday that he will be stepping down from his longstanding position as Commander and Chief of Chores. Citing reasons of fatigue, mental decline, and bad golf scores. Brandon does not have the power to appoint his successor but since he only has one sibling, his 10 year old sister Carmella is the only logical choice given such short notice.

The decision came after months of speculation and whispers around the dinner table about Brandon’s ability to maintain the rigorous standards of chore duty established during his tenure. Neighbors and family members alike have noted his frequent confusion, increase in naps and tendency to stare blankly at the wall.

Carmella, who has been serving as the backup chores officer, expressed her readiness to take on the new role. “I’ve been in training for years,” she said “I know I have some orthopedic shoes to fill, but I’m confident I can make our household clean again.”

Read the rest of this satire news article and more at TattletaleTimes.com

    • magnetosphere@fedia.io
      86·
      3 months ago

      Whoever did it is absolutely terrible or simply careless. I’m lousy at Photoshop, but even I know how to blur something so it matches the sharpness of objects around it.

        • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          187·
          3 months ago

          dude i run this website by myself as a side hobby and google adsense doesn’t come close to covering the monthly web hosting so i am definitely too cheap to pay an artist at this point. I’d love to pay an artist someday if it were to make money

          • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.worldEnglish
            518·
            3 months ago

            Good luck with that. It comes off as a less-funny version of the Babylon Bee; maybe you’d be better off partnering with their tier of advertisers.