Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️

It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.

This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.

I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.

  • Nefara@lemmy.world
    1·
    1 year ago

    As far as losing weight goes, the importance of that will really depend on the type of person you want to date. If you’re only attracted to people who put a lot of effort into their fitness and appearance, you’ll have to do the same. If that’s not as important to you though, there are definitely options out there. Online dating might be rough, but being kind, respectful, comfortable in who you are, and open minded will take you a long way.

    • LowtierComputer@lemmy.world
      1·
      1 year ago

      I agree in many ways, though I’d say go find a hobby or hangout where you can meet new people. Not a bar unless you drink often and want to keep doing so. A hobby that interests you will find you people who find what you find interesting, interesting.

  • Octospider@lemmy.oneEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I’m not even saying this to be nice. You are 25. You’re a baby. You may feel like you are old. But you are not. Not even close.

    Ever hear the saying “youth is wasted on the young”? This is why people say it. Hindsight is gonna slap you in the face when you are actually old. You’re fine. It’s not too late.

  • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
    1·
    1 year ago

    I haven’t been able to lose weight

    You need to be honest with yourself here, everyone is able to lose weight (except a very small minority of people with severe mental and or health issues) and what you really mean to say is “I have not committed to losing weight”.

    There is a huge difference between wanting a fit and healthy body and actually committing long term to the idea of consistently smaller portions.

    And that is all it takes. You do not need to swap every meal for a shitty salad, you do not need need to run ten miles a day, you do not need to make weight loss your number one priority, you do not need the mental strength of the world’s strongest man, you do not need more time in the day or any other of the 101 excuses that overweight people use.

    • weigh yourself
    • consistently eat less
    • weigh yourself again after a few weeks/months
    • adjust the amount you eat further if necessary
    • repeat steps three and four

    If you consume less calories than you burn, then you can lose weight on a diet of pizza and sitting on the couch all day.

    I know what I’ve said here will come across as harsh, but it’s all absolutely true and I hope that you lose your unwanted weight, it really will help your dating prospects and it will make you feel better about yourself too!