I’m glad there are multiple commenters treating this with the grim seriousness it deserves. Thank you all for pointing out the grave inaccuracies of the Satanic Menards theory. You’ve saved everyone a great deal of time.

Reminder that you can do this with nearly anything with five locations.

This guy sucks at drawing pentagons

That’s the plot of one of Supernatural’s seasons, the train tracks form a giant iron demon trap to protect the gates of hell or something like that.

The points aren’t even drawn to the location of the business. 🤦

The Xerxes Incident

Time to summon the goats, or something like that…

This could be the next raygun shirt, if it isn’t already