Dr. Trump: “To be completely honest with you, I’m really lucky to have this operation. The board was about to submit judgement with serious repercussions to my personal life, but I managed to get in here just in time to dodge all responsibility. Anyways, I don’t actually believe in medicine so I’m gonna let my Office of Management and Budget handle the situation from here.”

Russ Vought: “First of all, every nurse is fired. The Anesthesiologist, too.”