German text translates to:

so. Do I now fit better under the transfeminine category? Or am I still do hard to interpret?

lets hope dis gets me somewhere…
wish me luck. ill need it in 14.5 hours (EDIT: thad is 15:00 UTC)

this time i uploaded it to catbox immediately! no space taken on the blahaj servers, and **fxomt** gets to see it too!

EDIT: a peep wantd to hear whads goin on, so i went oh yis why nt share ~

so here we go, brand new lore gettin handed our for free

here the lil story ~

  • i startd doin therapy ovr half yea ago
  • first session therapist said “many peeps com here n jus wait til they get hrt”
  • second session i said som vrri ew adult wrords: “i rlli hate how my legsies look, always wear long pants now”
  • therapist lik “dun say such evil, selfdeprecatn adult wrords!”
  • afterwards i used vrri vrri vrri soft language to describ my feelins (evn tho i usually alrdi do that a lot) like
    • “im nt quite sur bout gendr bt meh, is nt so importnt”
    • “i feels kindsa uncomfs bt is fine ~”
    • “theres nt mch holdin me alive rn besides mothr, frens n dum bs who-givs-a-smol-poop ai project. so im safe!”
      • apparntli she didn realize i was sain im … lik - rlli sad.
  • my other kinda-therapist told me thad she thinks that actual-therapist doesn seem to undrstnd me n wantd to call
    • she did! turns out, actual-therapist truly didn get any of thad. i was softenin things too mch 🛌 🍼 💖 :mamakisseslilone: :mamaputsliltobed:
  • today is new therapy session since… over two months (evil holidays n othr stuff preventd stff)
    • after call, kinda-therapist told me thad actual-therapist believes increasin sessino frequence is gud idea to weekly…

so yea!

i feel i hav to rlli lik - put my feelins out somehow so im goin with a literature type, cuz i did slideshows too oftn alrdi (not with her, bt with other peeps)

imma call it

“die ‘slideshows sind langweilig, deshalb mache ich seitensammlung’ seitensammlung”

which translates to

“the ‘slideshows r boring, thads why im mekin a page-collection’ page-collection”

to… bring things across frfr dis time while:

  • bein truthful
  • not overexaggeratin bt also VRRI mch not underexaggeratin
  • not bein self-deprecatin too mch
  • not bein manipulative
  • not bein too weird
  • bein somewhat entertainin (so therapist enjoys time at least a lil bt…)

i tend to always undershare when it coms to bad or sad stuffs bout myself. bt dis time, NO! i hav written things down!!! i cn jus hold myself to it like a script!

worst case, i realize im sugar-coatin again, n jus giv her the page collection <3

this way, i try n be easy to read n understand, while also not seemin genuinely insane (i hav a fear… thad she thinks i genuinli need lik - mor in-depth kindsa therapy… with lik … feel-gud-drugs n stuff… i dun wan thad. thad feels lik cheatin, also i kno thad all my happiness is fake, so it becoms worthless)

tldr

i feel a need to signify clearly to my therapist thad i am transfem. she still somehow thinks im jus gay, evn tho i told her, thad currntli im not, n i duno why she keeps bringin thad possibiliti up… lik - am i thad hard to read?!?

  • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    19 小时前

    Es tut mir Leid, dass ich das so spät gesehen habe, ich hoffe es ist gut gelaufen! Du scheinst recht offen zu sein was teilen angeht, kriegen wir ein update? (Bitte fühle dich nicht dazu gezwungen oder unter Druck gesetzt!)

    My therapist started off thinking that I was homosexual too, indeed I think that my therapist and some of my friends beat me to finding out that I was trans.

    I’m not fluent in a third language so I’ll just go with English again here. I really like hearing from you smorty, you’re fun to talk to and like your writing style and I won’t refuse free memes either.

  • Hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    13·
    3 天前

    Smorty! I will send you all the luck! I’ve set an alarm in my calendar. A focused beam of pure luck will arrive to you as requested. You got this!

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      61·
      3 天前

      waaohwwwwww thank u soooo much!!

      i need right at 15:00 UTC (which is 17:00 german time convertd to utc during may… i hav been told…) until 15:50 UTC…

      like - i rlllli rlli need all the … luck ☘ and magic ✨ i can get my hans on so, ,.,. thanksies to u sooooo vrri much!!!

      im so vrri greatful for u sharin ur luck, im… thank oh so vrri much for bein so cool <3

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      42·
      3 天前

      aweeeheheheeh (was it becuz of the tags in the post, orrrr the heart 'i’s, orrrr the writing on the papr?.. pls share ur perceptions!! ~)

        • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
          42·
          3 天前

          aw yiis!!! woah u rembr dis kindsa stuff? >//~//< i feel vrri honord to take up storage in ur memory 🧠 ✨ <3

          yesyes the whiteboards ~ those r fun, if ya hav som hours lyin around n u jus wana do a thing <3

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      51·
      3 天前

      ooh! u wana kno whad happns?

      oooh thads so sweet of u ~ <3

      i updated the post text content to hav long and lil description of whads happenin <3

      • luciole (he/him)@beehaw.orgEnglish
        5·
        3 天前

        Thank you very much for your trust, for sharing with us. I’m rooting for you, tell them your reality, make it reality bee flag trans emoji

  • erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zoneMEnglish
    9·
    3 天前

    smorty, you are valid and dont need anybody to tell you who you are! but we are all here to support you no matter what, and i wish you the best with whatever is going on. as far as im concerned your a good girl <3

      • erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zoneMEnglish
        4·
        3 天前

        oh wow smorty, im super proud of you for standing up for yourself and accepting help when its offered to you, i really hope this opens up a new chapter in your life, where you can communicate about your problems better. and i think that the page collection is a good idea that will really help you <3

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      21·
      3 天前

      wwaawwa thanksies !!! <3 <3 <3 <3 thanksi for the - for the luck 🍀 n wishessss ✨ 🧙‍♀️ 🏞 ~ ~ !!!

      alsoalso!! ur pfp is… is so real…

      jus… cnt stand dis kinds of agressiv sad feels… vrri uncomf peepe sayin things in loud tone ;( dun lik em…

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      71·
      3 天前

      vielen lieben dank!!! <3 <3 💌

      es ist sehr cool von dir - dein glück so voll - so - total offen und warmherzig zu teilen ~ <3

      deine gedrückten daumen werden mir sicherlich helfen!!

  • Tamsin@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    3·
    3 天前

    Very best of luck to you!!
    I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you :)

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      41·
      3 天前

      i updated the post content to include long n also smol lil version 🍼 of whads happenin ~ <3

      thank u vrri much for the luck!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

      it means vrri much to me, thank u for bein so cool and sharing ur luck, thads verrry nice of u! <3

      • Tamsin@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        3·
        3 天前

        Aw, you’re most welcome ❤️ And thanks for clarifying. I’m keeping the fingers on my other hand crossed as well now!
        (It’ll make my typing difficult, but sacrifices must be made! :)

        • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
          22·
          3 天前

          oh thads so vrri nice of u!

          bt… ur allowd to not do the fingr twisty thing before that time… then agn, i dun rlli kno how luck mechanic works, so mayb it builds up ovr time?..

          • Tamsin@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
            3·
            3 天前

            I don’t know, I figured crossing fingers is what you do to hope for a good outcome. So… doing it twice is double effect?
            And I’m afraid I’ll forget when the time is actually there… I tend to forget a lot… So, let’s just say that this way works best of all :)

  • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    1·
    3 天前

    heyy, good luck with whatever it is u are doing :33

    ive been meaning to ask this for a bit, but do u write all these posts on school boards? it looks like it but how do u stay out of trouble then?

    this is vewy mysteriosu to me owo

    • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      43·
      3 天前

      oh aweeheheheh >v<

      nonono, i work at school as it intern >v< so i cn jus do stuff aftr school time!

      i get to do all kindsa stuff. roll around in classroom with wheely chairs ~ write funi lil things on boards ~ n othr stff too!

      my normal drawings, which r not photographd, yeaa… those ones r made at home!

      • i use krita for the drawin (is free n open source, u shud try it! is rlli rlli gud n easy to use <3 )
      • n then i use ma good ol cheap drawin tablet. its som no-screen huion thing i got years ago for 40€ or whatevr. i recommend gettin a wacom one tho for gnu/linux <3
      • thads it. i draw stuff on there.

      it jus looks vrri similar to how i draw on the boards, cuz they got almost the same kind of pen. difference: board pen uses slightly blurry outline while krita lets me chose pixel-perfect brush for those low-res posts i make (almost all of em are exactly 600x800 px)

      so yea, if a post is made on a board, u will see it, cuz im jus takin a picture of it >v<

      also!!!

      thanksies vrri much for the luck!!! im vrri grateful!! (if u rlli wana kno whads up, look in the posts text content n click one of the dropdowns there ~)