They line up in front of a courthouse in southeastern France, from morning to evening, and have gathered in the thousands in cities across the country. They hold signs reading, “one rape every six minutes,” “not all men but always a man,” and “giving in is not consenting.”
They chant: “Rapist we see you, victim we believe you.”
Women across France are rallying in support of Gisèle Pelicot, a 72-year-old reluctant icon whose husband is on trial in the city of Avignon for systematically drugging her and inviting dozens of men, 50 of whom are now his co-defendants, into their home to rape her over nearly a decade.
The shocking case has sparked what many women in France call a long-overdue reckoning over “rape culture” and systemic sexism in the way the judicial system handles sexual violence.
I’m sorry for the abuse you’ve experienced and for how dismissed you may feel. Your pain is valid, and it’s important that it’s acknowledged.
Regarding the woman’s sign, it contains a false statement. However, she is just one person making that claim. While there may be others who share her view, they are a minority and don’t represent the majority of the movement or the core issue. My point is that signs like hers can distract from the broader discussion—that the vast majority of sexual assault and abuse victims are women, and now is the time to raise awareness about that.
Of course, men like you and I have been abused by women as well, and it’s essential that all forms of abuse are recognized and addressed. We must advocate for all victims. But in this moment, let’s focus on standing behind the women who are survivors and show them our support.
This should be directed at the person waving the sign, not at the people pointing out the blatant misandry of it. She is the one making it about about the aggressors, while at the same time pissing on some victims.
You know good and well she’s not the only person saying things like “all men,” though she may be the first I’ve seen say “only men.” Why are you lying? I’ve been a male victim of female abusers since years ago by now, you think I don’t remember each and every time someone has said “shut up and sit down we’re not talking about you right now?” I’ve lived this shit, you can’t tell me it isn’t happening when it happens constantly. And racists are in the minority too, should I not call out their bullshit when I see that too or is that fine because that isn’t a belief you hold?
My point is that signs like hers distract from the broader discussion and that is why they should be actively discouraged even if they really don’t care about us. Your point is that I’m the problem for having feelings about her sign or for voicing my opinions on it. Well, I disagree. This is exactly where my opinion belongs, right in defiance of that bullshit wherever it presents itself.
I’m not the one shifting the focus, “always men” is. I’d be all about it if the sign simply said “Justice for Gisèle Pelicot” or something. She chose to make the sign, and the website chose to prominently feature it, be mad at them. That’s what I’m mad at, they are the ones that are attempting to erase male victims not Gisèle Pelicot, hell I stand with her too, I’m not just about male victims I’m the one in here begging for women to actually include male victims in the anti-SA movement ffs!
And have been asking for it for years by the way, only to always be told “sit down shut up it isn’t your time you’re only 4% you must’ve liked it anyway you’re lucky you got laid quit being a pussy and complaining,” at every fucking turn.