Need to let loose a primal scream without collecting footnotes first? Have a sneer percolating in your system but not enough time/energy to make a whole post about it? Go forth and be mid: Welcome to the Stubsack, your first port of call for learning fresh Awful youā€™ll near-instantly regret.

Any awful.systems sub may be subsneered in this subthread, techtakes or no.

If your sneer seems higher quality than you thought, feel free to cutā€™nā€™paste it into its own post ā€” thereā€™s no quota for posting and the bar really isnā€™t that high.

The post Xitter web has spawned soo many ā€œesotericā€ right wing freaks, but thereā€™s no appropriate sneer-space for them. Iā€™m talking redscare-ish, reality challenged ā€œculture criticsā€ who write about everything but understand nothing. Iā€™m talking about reply-guys who make the same 6 tweets about the same 3 subjects. Theyā€™re inescapable at this point, yet I donā€™t see them mocked (as much as they should be)

Like, there was one dude a while back who insisted that women couldnā€™t be surgeons because they didnā€™t believe in the moon or in stars? I think each and every one of these guys is uniquely fucked up and if I canā€™t escape them, I would love to sneer at them.

Last weekā€™s thread

(Semi-obligatory thanks to @dgerard for starting this)

    • bitofhope@awful.systems
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      1 month ago

      I did not expect to be tricked into reading about the nighttime erections of the man with the most severe midlife crisis in the world.

      he has 80% fewer gray hairs, representing a ā€œ31-year age reversalā€

      According to Wikipedia this guy is 47. Sorry about your hair as a teenager I guess? I hope the early graying didnā€™t lead to any long term self-esteem issues.

      • YourNetworkIsHaunted@awful.systems
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        1 month ago

        Alternatively, he only had 5 gray hairs to begin with I guess? Iā€™m more concerned about the fact that heā€™s apparently taking time to set a timer whenever he gets hard at night. I donā€™t want to yuck anyoneā€™s yum, but Iā€™m pretty sure youā€™re doing it wrong if youā€™re taking time out of the experience to collect those metrics.

        • hrrrngh@awful.systems
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          1 month ago

          If he collects enough metrics, he could make a horrendously cursed blogpost out of it like Aella

    • Sailor Sega Saturn@awful.systems
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      2 months ago

      When I was adjusting to a high fiber diet for medical reasons I couldnā€™t figure out why I was so incredibly hungry despite eating enough.

      Then I realized ā€œhuh, I havenā€™t had any fat at all for the past weekā€ and went and made myself four slices of buttery toast and they were so tasty.

    • FredFig@awful.systems
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      2 months ago

      The Network School offers Johnsonā€™s healthy food and a fitness program called the Blueprint Protocol. He claims that after three years of following his blueprint the duration of his night-time erections totals 179 minutes, ā€œbetter than the average 18-year-oldā€

      Yeah, this is a very normal diet thatā€™s advertising itself in very normal ways.

      • self@awful.systems
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        2 months ago

        Iā€™m trying to imagine the kind of wacky gross VR body tracking setup youā€™d need to measure that metric while asleep and all Iā€™m coming up with is mutilated Powerglove

        • froztbyte@awful.systems
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          2 months ago

          thatā€™s because youā€™re discounting quantified dating, and the scorecard he gives partners to fill out

          • sc_griffith@awful.systems
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            1 month ago

            my first thought reading this was that you meant it could be a deterrent to burglars. then I imagined a pair of increasingly nervous burglars timing his erections and freaking out as it hit 179 minutes. ā€œwe gotta bail man, thatā€™s longer than the average 18 year oldā€

    • maol@awful.systems
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      1 month ago

      I want a menu!

      What do you think is the venn diagram of ā€œpeople who go to The Network Schoolā€ and ā€œmen who believe in the meat-only dietā€? I imagine thereā€™s a lot of crossover