I had a horrible year at work. This was the first week of vacation until January. I’ve taken time to think about a new job, fix my CV, and just relax.

I can feel my anxiety and stress bubbling as we get closer to Christmas. My family is massive and events are spread over four days, so between the cash I had to spend to cover gifts for everyone and how much the entire family will be at each others throats I’m grateful for medication.

I’m currently alternating between the normal holiday stress, the anxiety that comes with watching the world going to hell, and being grateful for having it so good.

A while ago I have picked up the habit of regularly reminding myself how privileged I am in many aspects, and this has made me an immensely more grateful (and also more humble) person. I’ve also found new ways to be more mindful both towards myself and others in the process.

At the same time the whole world seems to go crazy around us. This week another European country close to us has recommended that people stock up on cash in case of ‘infrastructure failure’ due to hybrid warfare or other acts of sabotage.

We’re Swiss so by law our basement has a small shelter made of 35cm (a foot and a bit) of reinforced concrete. Ours is filled with food and water, medical supplies, uninterruptible power (it’s also used as a server room) and camping supplies. Funny enough that’s less of a prepper thing and more of a “there’s enough space down here and stuff doesn’t get in the way” situation, but I find myself spending more time down there lately because it’s oddly comforting.

My rescue dog has been dreaming a lot lately, and I suspect many of these dreams are nightmares; she used to have these regularly when she moved in with us three years ago. I wonder if she’s picking up unusual vibes from me or it’s something entirely in her own head.

On a more positive note: the holidays ahead promise to be mostly peaceful, and so far most people in my extended family seem to remember our mutual no-presents pact. What more could one ask for?

Flying as I write this to see family for xmas. Nice to see them but also I’m not out to them yet and they’re in Florida. A bit of an unfortunate combo

My kitten has grown into a cuddly snuggle bug. I love her so much.

I’ve basically told the universe: Six days or we’re done. I’ve been at these inflection points before, and am taking actions. It’s still a mix of emotions given living in a hotel 15 years ago – this week – is how I stole my second ex from her best friend of 12 years. And I’m stuck in a hotel because my batteries fell below spec. I have a DC-DC charger on order so as to avoid this ongoing cycle.

But I need a fucking purpose.

Recovering from the flu. I’m just glad I can breathe again.

I finally finished all my Christmas cards and got them sent out today.

I always forget how much work it is to use the vinyl cutter and how annoying my printer is, but I think they turned out well in spite of several technical issues.

Y’all, I was witness to a weird crashing of the old guard and new guard of governance. I was in the process of passport renewal in my country, and this has two stages. Stage 1 is where you submit your proof of address and proof of birth documents physically, and stage 2 is when the police come to your residence to verify your address, as well as redo the document verification. Now, one might think that this process is a little redundant isn’t it? If you have to submit your documents physically, why are the cops verifying it again? And you would be right, but it gets even more stupid than this.

So, I go to the passport office for Stage 1, and I swear to god, I have never seen a government organization move so quickly. There are three sub-stages within stage 1, and each stage took not more than 5 minutes. Everything was digitized, and in case you missed your token number appearing on the numerous screens, people will call out your name specifically and direct you to the specific counter you need to go to. All the while, you wait in an air-conditioned room with a refreshment shop as well.

In contrast to the absolute dream that was stage 1, the police first refused to come to my home, made me go to the police station, and then proceeded to do the friendly interrogation thing for 15 minutes. Now, if you’re not familiar with this method, the idea is to ask pointed questions and delve into the most minor details, but never in an accusing fashion, the intent being to make you uncomfortable enough to pay for things to be smoothed over. Hell, I was even micro-aggressively fat shamed. Luckily for me, my father used to work high up in governance so the cop was a little placated, but in the end he would not let me go until I paid a “service charge”.

Wild stuff, folks. Take care out there.

The last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling like I could barely stay on top of things, but I’m finally feeling like I can breathe again.

I found what you lost. I’ll be looking for antibiotics tomorrow.

Hope you make a complete recovery soon!

Winter break is about to start! ⌯’▾’⌯ And I’ll eat sushi today with a couple friends as a reward for all the hard work.

I’m excited to pet my dog. (-◡-◍)

Got a lot going on and I’m ready for xmas break. Watched jodorowsky’s the holy mountain yesterday, wtf was that lol

Meh. Almost done with llthe last of my sewing stuff to complete a contract. Won’t take any more from them again. The expectations don’t match the pay.

Bit of a hit and miss kind of start so far:

Took my TLR camera on a walk and got a really awesome shot with it but missed focus on one that was awesome too. Basically the in focus shot was unsettling and creepy to quite a degree and the one with the missed focus was depressing and heartbreaking to the same degree… Or at least it would have been if it was in focus.

Then today was a rough one at work as I was informed my paperwork I fill out everyday was changing. Specifically it was being changed as of today so I had to figure out the changes AND get all my other shit done without OT. I got it done but that was by no means an easy task.