The disconnect between women and men is sad. Women say soo many things with the best of intentions, that just end up cutting way too deep and vice versa.
We would if we got more smiles than smirks and sneers
Pretty sure would smile a lot more if they received more positive attention ngl.
Someone told me I had an ugly smile once and I am still insecure about my smile to this day. If people told me I had a beautiful smile and that I should smile more, I think that would be amazing. I would be surprised, but really happy.
It was pretty funny when women thought “how would you feel if” would work in this case. They clearly didn’t know how starved of positive attention men are.
Yeah, no one has ever told me that I had a beautiful smile and that I should smile more… I never get compliments and very rarely get any appreciation. I helped a friend of a friend fix electrical issues saving him thousands that he didn’t have? Just a generic “thanks.” The guy offered to feed me because his wife was getting chinese but his wife didn’t get me any and they just ate their food while I worked.
Where I live 12 beers or a bottle of vodka is the standard payment
You look cute! - nice
You should smile more. - wtf
Tbh she’s probably right, I have resting bitch face at best or maybe smol depression at worst lol, it would probably help me develop new interpersonal relationships now that all my friends are dead (mostly OD) or moved (because they didn’t want to OD.)
REAL FUN being the only person you know who avoided heroin/fent!
A lady told me I have nice eyes once. That was 20+ years ago and I’ve never forgotten that shit.
I had the same thing happen while I was working as a cashier. Turns out she was actually scamming me, they used footage of it happening to train new people.
Big oof
Same. She just kept staring into my eyes. In fact I think I was told the same thing by 3 different girls.
Same. I was at an eye hospital and they wouldn’t stop staring.
I’d just look around to see who else is in on the joke
Old ladies at my first job would tell this to Male interns all the time.
No it’s just as infuriating and it’s always been one of the complaints women bring up that I always remind them is not just a women problem.
Rbf can seriously negatively impact your life. Especially if you’re already physically imposing.
I searched what’s rbf and lmao at the result
Imagine being used as the example photo for resting bitch face
Mines even worse than that. To quote an old coworker “He looks like he’s about to stab everyone in the room all the time”
?? I think I misunderstood your comment, did you said that its not cool to be cat called as a man?
I’m specifically referring to the phrase “you should smile more” not cat calling in general.
I’ve endured the male equivalent of this my whole life.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“You look angry.”
“This is just my face!”
Ahhh my gf keeps asking me if I’m fine. I guess I just have a resting sad face or something.
That’s not really a male thing, nor is your example an equivalent. All sexes can get the angry face comment because people misinterpret others expressions wrong all the time. Not everyone is lucky enough to have resting beauty face. Heck just yesterday I was literally told by a nationally renowned dentist that my “small polite smile” would in fact labelled a grimace… oof.
There is usually a sexual connotation in being told to smile (to look prettier to the viewers), while being asked if something is wrong generally doesn’t have the same sexual undertones/motivations. The equivalent to the post would literally be a woman getting catcalled/told to smile and them thinking about escape routes. The difference in the gender swap is when the guy hears the smile comment they move on thinking about smiling (as shown by your comment), while the lady hears the smile comment and wonders if she’s in an unsafe situation that could possibly end their life.
Don’t get me wrong, both situations are awkward and uncomfortable to be in/navigate. Both put the onus the person hearing it to engage their defenses as to dispell/appease the accusations. And while both deal with fear, it really is just the power dynamics and inherent sexual nature that makes for entirely different interactions/outcomes.
(I say woman/man but the scenario still stands when women= any person smaller or weaker and man= any person with an inherent power/advantage over another. So if a big guy did the same to a weaker guy, the scene plays out the same as a powerful lady and the frail lady, or a strong lady and smaller guy.)
Here we go, someone mentions how an issue affects men and it’s instantly shut down with “well women have it worse”.
I get it at least once a week when at work.
It’s about it happening to you once every 10 years or once an hour.
Getting complimented once every ten years sounds awesome. It’s hard to even imagine once an hour
Once an hour sounds awesome but I suppose a person dying of thirst would think that a person drowning was having a great time.
I have never had a woman hit on me, but a gay man did once and the memory of that warms my heart. (I’m not gay.)
person dying of thirst would think that a person drowning was having a great time.
This happens in Dune. Paul explains the concept of swimming to his gf and she says he’s making stuff up.
But does your now husband know?
This post is discussing flirts per hour
If this happened once instead of constantly
You talk about women right ? Because as a man I would love that it would happen all the time to me
you’re assuming that because you don’t have to live with the reality.
add in the constant awareness that most rapists occur by men against women and most men are stronger than women.
you wouldn’t like theae solicitations or straight up molestation and assaults if you were constantly in danger of being raped and being reminded that men found you attractive or available.
Been raped twice by two different women, I’d still be fine with it. If I let my experiences with women (that + 3 serious relationships ended in them cheating) cloud my judgement of the entire gender I’d be an “incel,” so I don’t, I give each individual a fair shake because my past trauma isn’t their fault.
all of that rings untrue, and if it is true; it’s clear that you are not understanding or empathizing with any perspective other than your own, you’re only looking at it through your own understanding of the world, which by what you’ve written is extremely limited.
of course the situation feels different to you from your perspective, you are living in a different situation in different circumstances.
in your imagination land, sexual assault is a compliment.
If you talk to women, they view sexual assault as an assault.
they view sexual harassment as offensive and unwelcome, not as your imaginary compliment.
get out of your own head, this is not about you.
I’m used to not being believed, at least you didn’t say the classic “you must’ve liked it due to (insert natural biological response to stimulus)” like most people do though I guess. Good for you.
But no, I’m sharing about how I feel in response to you telling me how I “would” feel, which you don’t get to do, yet you continue above telling me what I feel. How about you stick to you and let others have their own feelings on what happens to them?
What are you talking about, I said that I as a man would love to be cat called not that I would love that as a woman . I never receive compliment and I can assure you that I would love to be cat called.I don’t say that what you said is false (it s not), just that its not what I was talking about.
“What are you talking about…”
you are not talking about getting catcalled, you are saying that if you got complimented, you would like it.
that is not what is happening to womenn getting catcalled; they are not receiving compliments, they are being harassed.
If you were catcalled multiple times a day every day you wouldn’t find it as fun, since these are not components so much as an attempt to engage with you personally, which is time-consuming and doesn’t benefit you, it only benefits the harasser, especially with the accompanying implication of rape or violence with each incident of harassment throughout the day.
I was talking about being cat called and I already got your point on how its horrible for woman to be always cat called because of the intimidation and threat that it implie.
…then you insisted that you would enjoy being catcalled, so I wanted to clarify that you wouldn’t enjoy being catcalled; you would enjoy a different situation in which you are occasionally complimented in good faith without the threat of violence, which is a completely different situation than what women go through everyday being catcalled.
you wouldn’t enjoy being catcalled.
you would enjoy receiving occasional good-faith compliments without the lurking threat of violence.
Constantly, really?
I’ve seen you comment around here before and you have a tendency to make bad faith arguments and it seems like maybe lie about who you are to try and make a point and snap at people who question your history while making similar assumptions yourself. If you offered something critically substantial then I’d understand but you often don’t try and simply seem to be a doubter and critic without any real argument. So I’m curious who you are and what you get out of this. If I’m completely off the mark then forgive me but that’s how it looks through the shallow lens of internet commentary
They dix not talk about the dame thing than you , they dont talk about the dame situation than the même. That s why its confusing
constantly, really:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rvq9krecA8g
and men don’t start cat calling women after they reach what is thought of as an “appropriate” age to harass someone:
The single most important benefit of getting to be an old woman is I don’t have to deal with this shit anymore.
Do you have any actual studies on this rather than YouTube videos? You know, the ones that show you raw unobscured data? Because I can take a camera to the main plaza, ask 100 women if they ever had insert experience till 3 out of a 100 say yes, interview them, cut it together, and make it seem like its happening to every single one of them. Data obscuration is the easiest way to manipulate outcomes of studies.
yep, this case study records about 10 cat calls per hour:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9900418/
also, what do you have against video evidence?
they studied the YouTube comments, most of which dismissed or defended the harassment, as you are doing.
there are many studies and videos about common, everyday open harassment and assault against women.
you should try talking to some of the women in your life.
ask them what it’s like for men to make solicitations end comments about their appearance in public and how often it happens.
then ask how old they were when they first harassed or molested.
your assumptions and implications from your comment show that you have no experience here; these talks will be enlightening for you.
