I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.
and then Illinois, or at least Chicago
Huge, COLD, lakes mind you.
Isn’t Wisconsin like a cold version of Alabama?
Yeah, it sucks. But Look at that map. Those lakes are fairly important. Well either that or do a Robert Evans plan and just nuke them.
Bump for nuking the so called “Great” lakes
C’mon now, the last thing Cleveland and Buffalo need is radioactive lake effect snow
Thus creating The Great Concavity
They know what they did.
No, I’m living there now, and the city I’m in feels like a wannabe California (aka liberal, techy, high housing costs, etc)
So a city?
Wisconsin has three major cities with VERY different personalities. One of them is very Portland/silicon valley (in its own Midwest-y way), one is borderline detroit-y, the other is an overgrown suburbia.
Yes, a city in Wisconsin.
What the fuck did you just say?! Are you suggesting that we are inbred? Alabama! Fuck you!
Wississippi
Only state to have (I think) four presidential elections decided by less than 1%.
The states motto is “Forward” and it used to be one of the most progressive states, but it was also the testing ground for the Koch bros media network, that plus the gerrymandering from 2010 really set us back.
Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I’ll also throw in Hawaii for free.
We should give Texas to Mexico just to spite them
Brilliant.
Having Arizona would be a big L for Canada
You’d have to create a corridor through Southern Idaho and Northern Utah to join the new state of “New Mexirado” with the rest if you removed Arizona… Hard work, but I believe it could be done.
As a New Mexican, I approve either of these options to join Canada
Yeah, but how else do they get Colorado and New Mexico?
Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.
Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do
Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.
Eastern Oregon is already trying to join Idaho anyway
Y’all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.
I think they’d maybe rather be independent?
I don’t think this is framed as a takeover.
Listen.
MD will take Pennsylvania and bring it into new Canadania as long as we can bring West Virginia with us too.
They’re dumb but they’re our dumbs.
You don’t wan the middle of PA… Maybe if they just turn everything between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh into a weapons testing site? Turn it into “no man’s land” like it was always mean to be.
A couple tweaks: Include Illinois and the eastern part of Pennsylvania. (edit: I see you did get Chicago, maybe just go a bit further south?).
why not Alaska too?
Get Virginia too!
Fuck that bougie ass state. Entirely occupied by weapons contractors. Leave them in New Honkia
I was just hoping to be Canadian.
move to Chicago.
Oh man I’d love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don’t have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.
Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.
Why would I want to join Canada??? I don’t do well in the cold smh my head
-Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).
-Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).
-Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).
-Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.
-Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.
-You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.
-Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.
-Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).
-The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.
and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).
(We couldn’t find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)
Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!
I can assure you that the vast majority of Canadians are well aware of that fact and totally disinterested in become part of the US or taking on any part thereof.
Americans joining Canada would have to give up their guns and other weapons, compete that training and licensing processes, and if successful would have the revocable and modifiable privilege of owning a very small selection of approved guns. They would have to accept that religious freedom in Canada, which is much higher than in the US, means that you are free to practice your religion in any way you choose as long as it doesn’t effect anyone else’s rights and you are free to have no religion at all. They would have to accept that it is settled law in Canada that a woman’s healthcare decisions are between her and her healthcare provider and none of anyone else’s business. They would have to accept that everyone has the right to marry, has had the right for decades, and that the only thing destroy traditional marriage is traditionally married people. They would have to accept that free speech in Canada does not include racism or hate speech. Most Americans would not fit in in Canada and we are not interested in becoming Americans and giving up the things that make us the best country in the world.
Not really. Canada’s getting all the states that are doing the heavy lifting in those shitty numbers. If not for them, every metric would be worse.
How are you now ✋
Good and you
Not s’bad
Wouldn’t you get most of the millionaires and billionaires by including California and New York and the stats will start going to the US level or worse?
How about prison pop? We making progress there?
Canada is 85 per 100,000 and the US is 146 per 100,000. Canada is a world leader in Corrections. We are focused on rehabilitation and reintegration. That’s why whenever there is a breakdown of a government Correctional Service Canada is on the Nation Building team that the UN sends in to help rebuild. I worked at CSC for 25 years and knew a guy who was on the UN plane that crashed in Kosovo during the Nation Building exercise there.
Why doesn’t everyone move to Canada then?
Because despite what the neo-fascists in the US (and in Alberta and the Conservative party) say it is very difficult to move to Canada. We don’t have open borders.
Is this an unlabeled bad joke that’s too close to what an actual idiot would say in real life?
We are on Lemmy, so it’s mostly still save to assume the first case
I actually liked the joke too
I thought the SMH my head was the label…
That is one of the clearest jokes if I’ve ever seen one
Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this “trade”?
Where they’re going they don’t need no universities.
FTFY “Wear their gohing they ain’t ned no skulz”
Losing CA alone would make the US possibly not even a world power. NY and CA gone, the US Would be a thing no one really has a reason to think of talk about. Suddenly all the movies would be about aliens landing on Canada or blowing up Canadian national landmarks.
Texas has a ton of nukes and half the MIC, we’d just create a American Nazi state.
It’s Deathworlders all over again.
Didn’t a group of separatists already try this in the 1800’s?
How did that turn out?
It’s never worked and never will, that’s the whole point of the Civil War. The military wouldn’t just sit back and do nothing, and states that try to leave wouldn’t have a professionally outfitted military. My opinion, if anyone really tried, a few handcuffs would end their attempts.
Nobody’s going to go there after abortion is banned.
Nobody wants their prince or princess saddled with that.
WI and MI want in on that, for sure
Well, MI at least
Milwaukee and Madison at least…
MI voted for the orange bad man so… no…
I can tell you that a large part of that was as a spite non-vote against Harris due to her not speaking up against Israel. Less about supporting Agent Orange, and more about not supporting the genocide of Palestinians by the very large arab and Muslim population in SE Michigan.
spite non-vote
lol… well that non-vote got you a president who is absolutely going to be a lot worse for Palestinians than Harris.
I had and observed several arguments with single issue Palestinian crisis “voters” who flat out refused to hold their nose and vote for the obviously less damaging candidate before the election.
so sit and spin, if you are an American and either didn’t vote, or you voted for trump; you have nothing to say worth listening to…
I’m sure all the dead Palestinians will thank you while Trump is pouring petrol on the genocide fire
As somebody from Wisconsin I will say that I don’t approve of us being excluded, but I also can’t blame them.
I’d include you
Yes. Need Michigan or Detroit area if alternative is to destroy big 3 auto industry.
Solving the problem is dissolving all borders so the working class isn’t divided into easily managed nation states.
Trump: Fine, they can have California for all I care.
Advisors: Sir, if California were its own country it would be the world’s 6th largest economy.
Trump: How about if we just send all the Mexicans there with some beautiful rakes?
5th largest
Wonderful news, everyone!
They are already here. Who the fuck you think does the farming?
They’ve been there since like the 1500s. Lol.
Australia can come too. THE END!
Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.
Congratulations you just gave the fundamentalist nutters all the icbm silos.
Yeah, uh, they already have them.
Plus there’s tons in the listed areas?
Naw WA has a few
Include Colorado and Hawaii.
We’ll need a tunnel from Denver to LA.
Airplanes. Flyover states will still be flyover states.
Armored trains.
Poor Colorado
You forgot Colorado. But yes.
hello. illinois.
I’m accept Illinois too.
I’m a Canadian and my dream is to one day fake my death and move to Minnesota where I can live in a small cabin away from anyone.
Can someone ask r/askconservatives how they feel about this plan?
Canadian conservatives would hate it. It would foul their apparent momentum in also getting control like the conservatives did in the US.
